locked to manufactured

[scythegun]

[When Wesker didn't contact him a day ago he was worried, but worry has quickly turned to fear and Jaeger's never been good at dealing with fear. Repeated attempts to reach Wesker have failed, so Jaeger's taken it on himself to go looking for his boyfriend.

Thankfully Wesker cuts a distinctive figure and Jaeger's able to trace his location to the outskirts of the city. He's worried that he's going to find that something's happened to Wesker, that he'll be injured or dying, or maybe even already dead—

But that isn't the case, and when he finds Wesker the man looks perfectly fine.]

Albert!

[He'll approach immediately; the worry and concern is probably obvious just from that exclamation alone, but once he gets close he speaks up again.]

Are you okay? What are you doing out here?

[If Wesker will let him get close enough, he'll reach out to touch Wesker's arm, as he usually does.]

Comments

[scythegun]

I don't think you were trying to frighten me by saying any of that, but it was terrifying anyway. I didn't know how to handle it, so I ran. I... I felt terrible about it. I tried to convince myself it was the right thing to do given what you'd asked of me, but I had a hard time believing it.

[He'll return that nuzzling though; it's a bit desperate.]

I'm pleased to hear that I was right in assuming that. But still... I wanted to be by your side. Even though you didn't remember me, I still wanted to do everything I could to help you. I couldn't agree with what you were saying and I tried to avoid talking about it, but... being with you was for my sake as well as yours. I didn't want to be alone.

[manufactured]

[...]

I'm sorry that you were put into a position like that. And for leaving you alone.

[scythegun]

Don't apologize, it's not your fault. You didn't remember. I'm not angry or upset or anything of the sort. I'm just happy you've remembered everything now.

[He's managed to relax his grip a bit, at least.]

[manufactured]

I know it's not my fault.

[But still, it's...difficult, all right.]

[scythegun]

As long as you know that.

[But he does understand, so he nuzzles against Wesker again.]

It's still difficult, ja? But things will be okay, I'm sure of it. I'll be here for you, no matter what.

[manufactured]

[He just pulls Jaeger closer to him at that; he seems to be having difficulty getting words to come out, and after a while he returns that nuzzling a bit, though the gesture is tight and unnatural.

He doesn't understand why this is striking him now; maybe it's just finally sinking in.]

[scythegun]

[Oh, that's... Jaeger shifts a little bit so he can move closer. He'll return the nuzzling gently and for a moment he's quiet as well. He's never been very good at staying silent though, so it's probably not a surprise when he speaks up again.]

I'm not going to leave your side, I'm right here. You've been through a lot; I'm sure this is difficult to take in. Is there anything else I can do for you right now?

[manufactured]

[He's quiet at that, though eventually he does shake his head a bit in acknowledgement of the question. No.

Any other response seems a bit beyond him right now.]

[scythegun]

It'll be okay, Albert. I know it's not right now, but it will be. I'm sure of it.

[The words are confident but not cocky, he's trying to be as soothing as he can right now. It's understandable that Wesker would be overwhelmed like this after everything he went through, and while Jaeger knows that Wesker hates it when he can't find words like this, it's sort of nice to see it again. It's just reaffirming what he already knows, that his Wesker is back.]

[manufactured]

...I know it will be.

[The words are about as tight as the rest of him is, forced-out among increasingly jagged breaths; he doesn't understand why he's getting so worked up about this, it's over, everything is all right now...

When he breathes in again it's as though he wants to say something else; it doesn't seem to be happening right now, though. It's been a while since it's been bad like this; just...give him a moment to sort himself out.]

[scythegun]

[He'll pull Wesker closer at that, though he's still not stopping with the nuzzling. He can't imagine what it's like for Wesker, but he knows it's overwhelming and the last thing he'd want to do is pull away right now.]

It's okay, take your time. We can stay here for as long as you'd like, don't worry.

[manufactured]

...I shouldn't need this, you've been dealing with the worst of it all this time...

[It's quiet but it's agitated; he appreciates the nuzzling, though, and he'll return it after a moment.]

[scythegun]

Don't be silly. We both had to deal with very different things, ja? That doesn't mean that only one of us should be worked up about this. You went through a lot and you've only just remembered everything. I think it's natural that you're going to be a bit wound up for awhile.

[It's gentle though, and he doesn't stop with the nuzzling. He really does believe that, after all.]

[manufactured]

It didn't feel like I was suffering at all, at least.

[So there's that; his words are again quiet, but it sounds like he's trying to have some control over them.]

It was something I expected, something I was used to.

[scythegun]

Even if it didn't feel that way... it was still a lot to have to go through. You were so angry - at the world, at your life here, at everyone... It sounds exhausting, honestly.

[But he's never liked being angry, so maybe that's just him.]

[manufactured]

...I shouldn't have told you about some of the things we ended up discussing.

[His curiosity regarding Uroboros, for one thing, but also things like murdering his siblings.]

[scythegun]

[Jaeger's quiet for a moment while he tries to figure out how he feels about that.]

...I want you to be able to come to me with anything. I don't want you to feel like you have to keep anything from me.

[...]

But... I think I understand why you did. There are some things I'm just... not really able to handle very well.

Thank you for trying to look out for me. I'm not upset that you told me these things - you didn't remember, after all.

[manufactured]

Part of it is because I don't think it's a good idea to tell you, but part of it is because I don't want to tell anyone. Some of what I've gone through is no one's business - I don't want to discuss how I don't remember my family, how the closest thing I had was a little girl not much older than me who tried to protect me, how I was apparently lept underground in locked cells and I don't know how many of my siblings died down there but I definitely was in the practice of murdering other children before I was ten-

[He shakes his head a bit. Tries to pull away from Jaeger's grasp. He's agitated and he can feel himself getting worked up and angry; he needs a moment, to try to calm himself down.]

Sometimes it's to protect you. Other times it's for my own sake - because I don't want to talk about it.

[That's what bothers him about this whole thing, there are things that he just...didn't want anyone to know.]

[scythegun]

[Jaeger doesn't want to let go, but he lets Wesker pull away. He's not really sure what to do with himself once Wesker has put some distance between them, though. He wants to reach out to touch, to try to comfort even in some small way, but he's not sure that will help.

...Honestly, he's not sure anything will help.]

I'm sorry. I didn't realize.

[The words are quiet and it takes him a little while before he finds something else to say.]

We don't ever have to discuss it. I... I don't want to push you into talking about something you're uncomfortable with, so I... I'm sorry.

[manufactured]

It's fine.

[Give him a moment.]

I understand that you're trying to help me, and I appreciate it.

But there are things that I can't talk about. Not with you, and not with anyone.

[scythegun]

I think I understand a bit better now.

[It only took learning about something Wesker didn't want him to know in the first place...]

I'm sorry. I won't ever try to discuss that with you, I promise.

[manufactured]

...The most I'll say about it is that I don't remember.

[The one saving grace in this entire situation, really.]

The old man told me about it before I killed him. I've seen the basements myself, but I didn't remember or understand what was happening there until he gave me context for it.

The little girl was my sister, Alex. I don't remember her well, either.

I don't have memories of my own from back then that take place before the age of eighteen. Given how much the old man had to tell me about my life, it's likely to stay that way - the memories themselves simply don't exist anymore.

[It's likely better that way.]

[scythegun]

I see.

[That's definitely for the best. It's still difficult to hear something like that, but remembering it would be even worse. At least Wesker doesn't have to worry about regaining memories of that.]

Thank you for telling me. I... I'm so sorry you had to go through that, even if you can't remember it.

[Jaeger hesitates for a moment before reaching out to rest a hand on Wesker's. He's not trying to take it since he's not sure Wesker will really want the contact, but he can't just sit here either. It's sort of awkward, but he's trying, okay.]

[manufactured]

[He'll definitely allow the contact, and after a moment he'll shift his hand a bit such that they're holding hands properly again; he doesn't mind it, he just needed to not be latched onto for a while.]

It's all right, Jaeger. I'll be fine, and it's not as though you knew the extent of it.

[scythegun]

[That does get him to relax a bit, and he's quick to squeeze Wesker's hand a bit.]

No, of course not. Is there anything I can do for you now?