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sleepyscholar
[It was supposed to be just an ordinary class outing to take care of a bandit problem.
Oh, sure, these class outings are usually dangerous; bandits aren't simply going to roll over and allow a bunch of students to kill them, but this is hardly the first time the Black Eagles have been tasked with such a thing. They head out and take care of the problem with no real issues. Sometimes some of them are injured, but Linhardt can always keep them healthy until they can be taken care of back at the monastery.
So Hubert wasn't really expecting anything different today. The woods they've engaged the bandits in are thick and make traversing through them difficult, however; that's most likely how they managed to get separated from the rest of their class. The sounds of a clash can still be heard distantly, but for now...
Well, for now, he and Linhardt are separated from the others. That isn't necessarily a problem; he likes Linhardt well enough, and while Linhardt doesn't like to fight, Hubert can certainly look out for both of them. The bigger problem is that Linhardt is their healer, which means Lady Edelgard is out there without a healer in case she ends up in a bad situation. Rejoining the rest of their class is the top priority.
(It has nothing to do with the fact that being alone with Linhardt is... not exactly ideal. They're friends, yes. He likes Linhardt, yet. The problem is that he likes Linhardt entirely too much and being alone with him sends Hubert's pulse skyrocketing and those thoughts become almost impossible to ignore. He cannot afford to split his focus like that in battle, not when something could happen to Lady Edelgard and he isn't even there to protect her right now—)
Needless to say, he's very antsy as he picks his way through the trees and bushes. He's on high-alert, as always. Most of the bandits are most likely fighting their fellow students, but they've had to fend off a few stragglers so far, so he certainly isn't about to let down his guard.]
We need to make it to the others quickly.
[This would be easier if the trees weren't so overgrown... How are you doing, Linhardt?]
Oh, sure, these class outings are usually dangerous; bandits aren't simply going to roll over and allow a bunch of students to kill them, but this is hardly the first time the Black Eagles have been tasked with such a thing. They head out and take care of the problem with no real issues. Sometimes some of them are injured, but Linhardt can always keep them healthy until they can be taken care of back at the monastery.
So Hubert wasn't really expecting anything different today. The woods they've engaged the bandits in are thick and make traversing through them difficult, however; that's most likely how they managed to get separated from the rest of their class. The sounds of a clash can still be heard distantly, but for now...
Well, for now, he and Linhardt are separated from the others. That isn't necessarily a problem; he likes Linhardt well enough, and while Linhardt doesn't like to fight, Hubert can certainly look out for both of them. The bigger problem is that Linhardt is their healer, which means Lady Edelgard is out there without a healer in case she ends up in a bad situation. Rejoining the rest of their class is the top priority.
(It has nothing to do with the fact that being alone with Linhardt is... not exactly ideal. They're friends, yes. He likes Linhardt, yet. The problem is that he likes Linhardt entirely too much and being alone with him sends Hubert's pulse skyrocketing and those thoughts become almost impossible to ignore. He cannot afford to split his focus like that in battle, not when something could happen to Lady Edelgard and he isn't even there to protect her right now—)
Needless to say, he's very antsy as he picks his way through the trees and bushes. He's on high-alert, as always. Most of the bandits are most likely fighting their fellow students, but they've had to fend off a few stragglers so far, so he certainly isn't about to let down his guard.]
We need to make it to the others quickly.
[This would be easier if the trees weren't so overgrown... How are you doing, Linhardt?]
no subject
[No, of course he doesn't want to stop. But that doesn't mean he should continue. Hubert has been taught to always put Lady Edelgard first, especially above his own desires and wants. While this may not come back to bite him immediately, allowing himself to get this close could pose problems in the future.
But perhaps even more than that, there's something terrifying about opening himself up and letting someone else in. He's not sure he knows how to do that in the first place.
He should apologize and put this behind them. Just a mistake that neither of them will speak of again, and then he can move on and focus on what's really important: Lady Edelgard and her goals.]
I shouldn't...
[And even though that's what he should do, it feels like his throat closes up and the words refuse to come. He doesn't want to let Linhardt go. He doesn't want to turn his back on this. But how is he to manage this and Lady Edelgard's plans? He can't afford to split his focus.
Even worse, he'll be leading Linhardt on. He'll be pretending that they could actually be together when in reality, they can't. Not unless Linhardt sides with Lady Edelgard, and even then... Even then, he isn't sure that he wants to drag Linhardt into their war. If he could lock Linhardt safely away in a tower somewhere, he would. But no matter what, Linhardt will be dragged into the conflict, and it seems exceptionally unfair to try to persuade him to join Lady Edelgard's side like this.]
...I don't want to hurt you.
[And even though that's what it comes down to (at least in part), it wasn't something he really planned on saying. But it's out there now, and there's no taking it back. Hubert's gaze remains trained on the floor.]
no subject
Of course.
Dropping his hands back to his sides, Linhardt takes a step back. He forces his expression into something more neutral, bored even, in complete conflict with the pain suddenly causing his chest to tighten as he comes to unpleasant conclusions.
This is always what happens, even if it's gone a bit farther than usual this time. Someone woos him with sweet words, tells him he's pretty, and then gets cold feet when they remember that he's actually male and they can't bring themselves to be intimate with him after all.
Surely that's what's happening now. Hubert had just been really convincing, and Linhardt allowed himself to fall for it without questioning. Maybe he should just blame himself by now for being naive.]
I asked you before, and you said you wanted this. Now you don't. I'm not here to play games with you, Hubert. If you don't want to hurt me, then don't. Just leave.
[He would deal with his anger and hurt feelings later, when he was alone. Not in front of Hubert.]
no subject
Well, the words sting. They dig at him in a way most things never do, and for a brief moment he almost wants to argue, to prove Linhardt wrong. Maybe to prove himself wrong. But that's the sort of rash decision-making he can never allow. He can't act on impulse, especially not here when he knows everything will end poorly for Linhardt if he pursues.
So yes, Linhardt's right. If he doesn't want to hurt Linhardt, then leaving is the best option.
Hubert doesn't respond verbally. His gaze darts again for a moment, but he's already made up his mind. He turns to leave and does not allow himself time to second guess, or time to look back over his shoulder.
It's for the best, he tells himself. Linhardt will be angry with him, but it's better than leading him on.]