pokebox | LOCKED TO ardent

LOCKED TO ardent

The first thing he noticed was the off-white ceiling and plain walls. It didn't occur to him that there was anything weird about that for a minute or so, instead he sat up, glancing around at the unfamiliar room. The bed he was lying in wasn't particularly hard or soft - not as comfy as the one at Hope's Peak, but it wasn't uncomfortable either - and there was a desk beside the bed with a set of clothes, a note, and two red-and-white balls. Mondo reached for one of the balls without thinking, only stopping himself when his memories of the previous days came flooding back like a tidal wave.

Fujisaki. How could he forget, even for a moment? Fujisaki had come to him, seeking help, expressing a desire to become stronger, and what had he done? He'd blacked out. No, that wasn't right - he'd blacked out and killed the kid. Mondo's fists clenched and he drew his hand back. That's right, then there had been a trial, just like the first time someone was found murdered in Hope's Peak Academy. Monobear had called them all down there and they had gone over the evidence. Well, if by "they" he meant Naegi, Kirigiri, and that jackass Togami. First they had outed Fukawa as Genocider Syo, then they'd blamed Togami for altering the crime scene, and then...

...And then the truth had come out. If he hadn't been so careless with what he was saying, Fujisaki's secret would have been safe and he wouldn't have hurt Ishimaru, his aniki. Of course he had noticed the way Ishimaru reacted - the screaming, the denial, the tears, the desperation - and Ishimaru had voted for someone else. Even when he had acknowledged his defeat, Ishimaru hadn't. Ishimaru had believed in him until the very end - but he shouldn't have. He had betrayed not only Fujisaki's trust, but Ishimaru's as well.

It was a good thing he hadn't gotten away with murder though. Mondo doubted he could have lived with himself if he had. Even the execution wasn't that bad - from what little he remembered of it. It could have been worse; he could have been chained to a signpost and bludgeoned to death by millions of baseballs. He still had nightmares about Leon's death. He didn't even know Leon all that well. No, Mondo's death had been relatively quick and he'd gotten to ride a motorcycle one last time. There was something freeing about that, something he doubted he could ever really put into words. His last action had been his favorite. Maybe that was suiting.

So why was he here? Why was he waking up? He was dead, he was sure of that. He was equally sure that this wasn't Hope's Peak. There weren't any windows in the room, which meant that he could be underground, but he doubted Monobear would have let him live after the murder. He hadn't gotten away with it; he hadn't "graduated." So where was he?

Mondo finally got up, snatching the note off the top of the clothes folded on the desk. There was a large, red "R" on the shirt front, but Mondo ignored that for the time being to scan the note. Apparently he was now working for an organization known as "Team Rocket." That title meant nothing to him and he set the note aside, picking up the clothes next. It was a very standard uniform that looked like it would be way too tight-fitting for his taste and Mondo set that aside as well. Finally, he picked up the red-and-white balls, turning them in his hands curiously. He wasn't a Super High-School Level Baseball Player, but he might be able to use them as weapons if he needed to. He tucked those in his pocket and turned to the door. He expected it to be locked. It wasn't.

The hallway was just as nondescript as the room, though the ceilings were a bit low for his liking. Mondo picked a direction at random and started down the hallway, absently wondering if he could find some way back outside. It felt like it had been a long time since he had seen the sun.

He was stopped on his way by a shorter, scrawny man wearing that uniform (yeah, it definitely looked like it would have been too tight on him). The man frowned at him and pointed one gloved finger down the opposite hallway. "You should be heading to your first day of training! Why aren't you in uniform?"

"Fuck off," Mondo replied, shoving the smaller man out of his way. The guy definitely looked older, so he could assume that this wasn't the school. No one else was in the school after all, right? Just the fifteen of them - well, eleven of them now (did he even count anymore?) - and the person controlling Monobear. Mondo brushed that thought aside; this wasn't the school. That was what he would focus on.

He didn't find his way out. His sense of direction had always been good, but that was on the roads, in the open air. He had always gotten turned around in Hope's Peak as well, but never like this. He couldn't believe he'd managed to wander in a circle, finding himself back in front of the room he'd woken up in. Maybe this was some kind of trick; he couldn't move on until he'd gone to his first day of "training" or whatever.

The man in the Rocket uniform came walking down that hallway at just that moment. "Gotten yourself lost, huh?" He sneered. "Just follow this hallway and hook a left. The training facility's there. You'll meet the other new recruits and get started on your two weeks of training."

Two weeks? Like hell he was going to hang around for that long. Mondo rolled his eyes and followed the man's directions, ignoring the shout for him to get back and change his clothes.

The training facility was more decorated than the hallways or the room, and well-lit at that. There were several other young men (wearing that hideous uniform), all gathered in the center of the room, talking quietly. It looked like the instructor hadn't shown up yet. Mondo was tempted to leave, but this might be his best chance to get information on this place. He frowned for a moment, before walking up to join the others. He stood at least a head taller than them, which made him stick out even worse than the clothes he was wearing. Not that he cared.

"What's this "training" gonna consist of anyway?"

None of the other men seemed to know, and Mondo began to wonder just how badly things were going to go. It wasn't like it could be any worse than Enoshima being stabbed through by spears in the gym, right?

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Ishimaru didn't seem inclined to stop him; really, he knew the feeling, though he could honestly do without the motorbike.

"Yes, of course! And I've been outside this place many times myself, so I know it's not some sort of trick or a lie - we can leave whenever we like."

He shifted a bit, folding his arms across his chest. "We'll be asked to go on assignments once in a while, for this group we're a part of, but most of them are in other cities. You can see the entire region that way, and it's for a good enough cause."

"The entire region?"

...

"You mean there's more!?"

Normally Mondo only shouted when he was upset or angry, but it was hard not to shout in excitement about this. Their world was no longer limited to a school, or even a city. Mondo had spent most of his life staying within the same areas. Exploring the world was something he had always dreamed of doing, but something he'd never gotten a chance to do. He could do that here. He could see what this world had to offer, and if this city was any indication, it had a lot to offer.

But something Ishimaru said bothered him. "A good enough cause? What's up with this organization anyway? It's not like the Crazy Diamonds. It's a lot more... structured, I guess? I dunno. It seems pretty suspicious, you know?"

"So much more, aniki!"

...at this rate it wouldn't even be a matter of wanting to go outside - they were going to get kicked out of the building, dear lord.

However, Mondo's next questions seemed to calm him down somewhat; Ishimaru broke the eye contact he'd been maintaining, going back to staring out the window. "As for this place...I found it suspicious at first, too. I really did. And those suspicions weren't wrong - some in this organization are terrible."

He glanced at Mondo for a moment before looking back out the window; again, his gaze had hardened, his tone blunt. "They aren't the likes of Monobear, however; believe me, I would not have stayed, if that were the case. As I said before, no more trials. No more killing...!"

His voice cracked a bit at that, but he was quick to get himself back under control; while whatever else this place had managed to do for him wasn't entirely clear, he was certainly crying less easily. "They require power to rule the region. If they rule the region, they will be able to control who stays and who goes. This organization even has the power to bring the dead back to life - one of the ones running it now is deceased in his own world. He has the scars to prove it."

He shook his head a bit as though to clear it; he still wasn't looking at Mondo. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you, my brother? We can save everyone - Maizono-kun, Kuwata-kun, Enoshima-kun...none of them will have had to die! We can save everyone."

The first thing that struck Mondo as wrong was the fact that Ishimaru wasn't going into theatrics. He wasn't sobbing at the idea of killing (something he hadn't actually done - that Mondo had seen at least - but it was something he could very easily see Ishimaru doing), and that definitely seemed odd. But Ishimaru had been here for months, perhaps he had calmed down a bit. It was unlikely, but possible.

The second thing that sent shivers down his spine was Ishimaru's talk of bringing the dead back to life. Yes, Mondo knew that was true - here he was, in the flesh, despite being dead. But Ishimaru already knew that, didn't he? He shouldn't have said anything because Mondo already knew that. He was already dead - Ishimaru had seen him die. Was it really a matter of pretending to forget?

The final blow was the insistence that they could bring everyone back - Maizono, Kuwata, and Enoshima. Mondo couldn't control the involuntary twitch in his shoulders. Ishimaru really didn't know, did he? Or if he knew, he had managed to fool himself so deeply that he couldn't remember. But how was that possible? No, a better question: what was he supposed to do? Tell Ishimaru? Let him think that those three were the only ones who died?

...He couldn't do that. That would be disrespecting Fujisaki's memory. If there was one thing he couldn't do, it was that.

"...They're not the only ones who are dead, aniki." He said slowly. "I... I guess you don't remember. You did take it pretty hard, so I can't really blame you for that, but..."

Mondo paused, glancing out the window as well. It would be easy enough to talk to the window and not face Ishimaru while he spoke of this, but that would be weak. He was tired of being weak.

"Fujisaki's dead too. It happened not long after that night in the sauna."

Another pause. He didn't have to reveal Fujisaki's secret. If Ishimaru didn't remember, then that meant he could still keep his promise to Fujisaki, right?

"...Fujisaki asked me to train with... her. She wanted to be stronger. Sh-she was already stronger. Much stronger than any of us thought. Sh-she wanted to be strong enough to tell us all her secret, b-but..."

Mondo's gaze fell to the floor. He wanted to look away, he needed to look away, but he refused to allow himself to.

"I... don't really remember what happened. Sh-she asked me to keep her secret and... and she told me and... and..."

He fell silent for a long time. He wasn't sure he could gather the courage to say it. He really was weak.

"I killed her, aniki! I... I don't remember it very well b-but when I came to sh-she... she was dead. Bleeding from the head an-and... there was a barbell a-and there... there was blood everywhere and I..."

Mondo swiped a sleeve across his eyes and took a deep breath. He still couldn't bring his eyes back to Ishimaru's face.

"The trial was... it was a fucking mess. Togami - that bastard - he messed with the crime scene; made it look like it was Genocider Syo's doing. I dunno why he did it, he didn't say. S-so everyone suspected Genocider Syo - who's Fuwaka, or well, a part of her, I guess? I dunno, it wasn't very clear - but it wasn't her. Genocider Syo only uses scissors to kill a-and crucify her victims. So then everyone thought it was Togami for fucking with the crime scene.

"I should have told them - you, at least - before all that happened. But I didn't. I kept quiet because I... I just... I couldn't tell them. I couldn't. That secret was... it was really important to me and... and I was fucking scared. I didn't want to get away with it, you know. I just..."

Mondo shook his head again. He was losing track of the story. He had to tell Ishimaru everything.

"...So it wasn't Genocider Syo, and Naegi ruled Togami out when everyone discovered Fujisaki's secret. It... wasn't really my fault but... I still felt bad, you know? I promised - a man's promise - that I wouldn't tell, but it still felt like it was my fault.

"I said something stupid. I knew what color jersey Fujisaki was wearing when no one but Celes - who saw her - knew. Naegi and Kirigiri pieced it together pretty quick. Monobear told them everything. I couldn't bring myself to. Even after they found out, I couldn't say anything...!"

Another long pause. Mondo shifted uncomfortably.

"...Well, you know what happens next. An execution. You... you were so certain it wasn't me. You kept saying that they were wrong, that we needed more time to figure this out. You tried so hard to protect me. You even... you voted for someone else, when the time came. Everyone else voted for me. I... I'm glad they did. I didn't want to get away with the murder.

"So Monobear rigged up a cage, gave me a motorcycle, and electrified the whole thing. Then I woke up here."

For a moment, Mondo considered ending his story there and letting Ishimaru figure out what he thought about it. But no, he wasn't done.

"I didn't mean to kill Fujisaki! Or... well... I guess at the time I did, but...! I blacked out. I don't remember it. Sh-she... she was so strong and it made me realize how... how weak I really am and I... I couldn't take it. I have to be strong. I have to be strong. B-but I... I never wanted to hurt her. I didn't... plan it in advance or anything. I just..."

The pause lasted longer this time and when Mondo continued speaking, he forced himself to look at Ishimaru.

"I never meant to hurt you, but that... it really did hurt you. You were my friend until the very end, ani-- Ishimaru-san."

The abrupt shift to honorifics, which he usually didn't bother with, was probably the biggest indication, but he really wasn't sure if he could even call Ishimaru his brother anymore. Not after what he had done, both to Fujisaki and to everyone else. He had put them through all that. He had said nothing as he watched them struggle to find the killer. He could have gotten away with it. He could have walked away, a free man, while all of them died.

"I'm... I'm so sorry..."

"Fujisaki...?"

The name left him almost involuntarily as Mondo began speaking, quietly, the confusion in his voice incredibly obvious; he turned to Mondo immediately, his gaze seeking out Mondo's face as though looking for an explanation, eyes widening as the other boy's gaze darted downward to the floor.

Ishimaru knew, then, what was coming. He could feel himself shaking his head, silently mouthing the word no, but he couldn't make himself speak, couldn't bring himself to make Mondo stop. This was something that his aniki needed to tell him, he was suddenly and acutely aware of that much, but...

Most of the explanation washed over him; he heard it - there was no way he wouldn't hear it - but it wasn't anything that made sense. Togami and Fukawa and Genocider Syo, and Naegi and Kirigiri ruling out the other suspects and only leaving one possibility, just as they had done for Kuwata -

I killed her, aniki!

He knew, but he couldn't understand, and the abrupt shift to honorifics cut him more deeply than anything else at the moment. It was selfish, something he would feel guilty for later, but for the time being everything was abstract. It hadn't happened, there was no way that it could have happened, why didn't Mondo see that? It was still midmorning and they had finally come to an understanding the night before and there was a meeting to run and -

"...stop talking like that."

The words had to be forced out of his body; they were shaky, cracking, and he swallowed hard after they were out there before continuing, hardly caring about the fact that his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Stop talking like that! I know you, you would never...you would never kill any one of us, especially not Fujisaki-kun! You..."

His breath caught hard in his chest; he didn't bother swiping at his face or even trying to hide the fact that he was crying. "You said you don't remember. You didn't...you didn't do anything!"

"We were the only two in the room. I blacked out, yeah, but it wasn't for very long. There's no way anyone else would have had time to come in there, kill her, and get out without me noticing."

The words were soft though, none of the usual fire backing them up. Again, Mondo found himself staring at the floor. Last time, when Ishimaru had insisted that he was innocent, Mondo had let Naegi and Kirigiri explain why he wasn't. He had let Monobear describe just what had happened and why he had done it. He hadn't said a word until the very end. This time he didn't have a choice. He had to make Ishimaru see that this was what had happened.

"It was during Night Time, so most of us would've been in our rooms. That's why Fujisaki wanted to train then, so that no one else would see her. She was... pretty embarrassed, I guess. She thought she could trust me and I...

"...The barbell was pretty large. It would've been hard for most of the other students to swing that at someone's head. Oogami could've done it, but she's not the sort to kill anyone."

Not like me.

"I know you're upset and I know you can't believe it. But it's true. It happened. I killed her. I... I did it and yeah, I didn't speak up during the trial, but it wasn't like I wanted to get away with it either! I didn't want to watch you all die! I got what was coming to me, and yeah, it fucking sucked, but at least it was me instead of everyone else!"

Mondo swiped at his eyes again. He hadn't cried like this since Daiya died. It hurt - he wasn't sure what about it was causing him to cry, but the whole situation hurt and he wanted nothing more than to get on that elevator, go back to his room, and pretend this conversation never happened.

But he was stronger than that. He had to be.

"I killed her, dammit! I know you don't want to believe that, but I'm not lying! Why would I take the blame - and get killed - for someone else? If it hadn't been me and I'd tried that shit, Monobear would've fucking killed us all, you know that! He's a fucking stickler to his damn rules! He would have loved to kill us all! But he didn't because they were fucking right. They figured it out. I killed her."

Ishimaru flinched sharply away from him at that; he didn't remember deciding to move but he found himself quite suddenly with his back pressed against the glass, sliding down to sit on the ground, knees drawn up to his chest. The crying hadn't subsided any, and if anything it was getting worse, sharp sobs wracking his body; he had never been able to hide his feelings, always easily riled and very easily driven to tears, but unlike most other times there was nothing cathartic about this.

"Stop it...please, please stop saying things like that, you don't have to say things like that anymore..."

The words got Mondo to flinch away as well. It was just like before, when he had yelled at Fujisaki - Fujisaki hadn't taken it well because he wasn't a girl, Mondo's words hadn't helped at all, and yelling at poor Fujisaki had been what caused the boy to cry in the first place. This wasn't quite the same, but this was his aniki talking to him like this.

Mondo didn't know what to do. He usually had some idea of how to approach a situation (and if he didn't, he'd just act like he knew what he was doing - he couldn't show weakness, after all!) but this was different. He certainly couldn't act like there was nothing wrong, but what was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? He could get in that elevator and leave Ishimaru to pick himself back up, but he doubted that was the right thing to do. It seemed too cold, especially for someone he called his brother.

After a moment - a very long moment - Mondo finally moved to sit on the floor in front of Ishimaru. He was almost close enough to touch, but he didn't try to reach out. Not yet.

"...I'm sorry. I got carried away." The words were soft, a little uncertain, but genuine. "You're... you're right. I don't need to say things like that. If we're here, then chances are Fujisaki will show up here someday too. I mean, I'm living proof that the dead can be brought here, right?"

The attempt at a joke fell flat and Mondo glanced down at his hands. "I... look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you like that, alright? It's just... being in denial isn't going to help. I want you to know the truth, okay?"

Well, despite Mondo's...clearly mighty command of tact and social grace, his words did seem to have an effect, albeit not an immediately obvious one; it took Ishimaru some time to calm himself down to the point of being able to form coherent words, and actually managing to stop crying was something that was going to have to happen later, but after a while he at least seemed to be breathing properly as opposed to clearly trying not to scream or otherwise crack further.

"F-Fujisaki-kun...we'll...we'll bring her here."

The words were spoken more to the floor than Mondo, really; however, that didn't last long. His head snapped up after that statement was out there, determination in his eyes despite the tears.

"I'll save them...all of them! I won't let you down - I won't let any of them down - and they'll all be brought here with us! You'll...you'll see, I promise you...!"

Mondo was content to sit and wait for Ishimaru to collect himself - he would eventually, right? Sure, he had never seen his friend this shaken, but Ishimaru was strong. He knew Ishimaru would work his way through this despite the, uh... rather messy tears there...

Then Ishimaru did speak, and Mondo wasn't sure what to do with what he was hearing. "You haven't let me down. What are you talking about?" But as he thought about it, it became clear. Ishimaru was blaming himself for the fact that he was the only one here, wasn't he? He hadn't been living in that hell for months, while the others were stuck there, in some kind of weird limbo. Did Ishimaru really believe that it was his duty to bring them all here? Was that even possible?

"Hey, hey, calm down, alright? What are you talking about? Do you know of some way to bring the others here?" A pause. Mondo's expression altered to something clearly confused. "Did... did you bring me here?" Did Ishimaru have some kind of Super High-School Level Magic Power here or something? It sounded ridiculous, but so far everything else he'd heard about this world sounded strange, so why not this?

Ishimaru's initial response to that was to firmly swipe at his eyes, clearly trying to get rid of at least some of the tears before he responded; it wasn't quite...working, as this most recent bout of crying seemed to have decided that damn it, it was going to be a good one, but at the very least he seemed decidedly less distressed when he replied.

"No - if we've found the way to bring people to this world, I have yet to be notified! But there is a way; those now in charge of this organization and I have been theorizing about it since my arrival, and we believe we're close to finding it and harnessing its power! If we can just do that...!"

Those in charge of this organization, huh? "Seems like you've made friends in high places, huh?" And for a brief moment, Mondo smiled. It was nice to see that Ishimaru had made friends here. Even though his earlier thoughts were about how he was sure Ishimaru had made friends, he found it such a relief to hear that.

"So, you guys think there's some way to do that? Well, what is it? I'll help you. We'll bring the rest of our classmates here and then we won't have to worry about Monobear or whoever's behind that fucking thing, and we can actually have a normal life here! ...Well, as normal as our lives get, anyway."

He reached out to touch Ishimaru's knee, still wearing that determined smile. "You're right. We'll bring them here. All of them. Then I can apologize to Fujisaki and the rest. I don't care how hard or impossible it seems, we'll do it together."

That went a long way toward getting Ishimaru to relax, actually, and when he took another swipe at his eyes, this time his face wasn't immediately streaked with tears again. However, there were still some things...things he wasn't entirely sure how to articulate, but needed to be addressed regardless. He took a moment to breathe deeply, to calm himself. Come on. Live up to your title. Do it justice.

"You aren't...angry with me, then?"

Well, it started out well, at any rate; however, he couldn't quite keep himself from seeming hesitant halfway through.

Mondo tipped his head to the side, expression blank. "Angry at you? Why would I be?"

Again, he recalled the idea that Ishimaru was upset with himself for being in this world for so long without managing to bring any of his classmates here. Was he beating himself up over that? That was nothing in comparison to what Mondo had done. ...Not that he'd ever want Ishimaru to ever go through that pain and frustration, and really, what they'd done (or hadn't done) couldn't really be compared, could it?

"You mean for not being able to bring me here sooner? For not being able to bring the rest of us here? Nah, I'm not mad. Time didn't pass where I was. I didn't notice you were gone, and it sure as hell hasn't been months there." He squeezed Ishimaru's knee reassuringly. "Don't beat yourself up over it, alright? If it had been easy to figure out how to bring us all here, I'm sure this place would be overrun by people who brought their friends and family along, right? You don't need to worry about it. We'll find it, I promise you that, as a man! And once we've found it, we'll bring everyone here and we'll live fucking happily ever after! Not even fucking Monobear would stand a chance against us, or the bastard controlling him!"

Ah, right, but he got off topic, didn't he? "I'm not mad at you, alright? I'm sure you've been doing everything you could to find a way to save us, right? So there's nothing to be mad about!"

It took him a moment to process all that, as it wasn't what he was referring to; it was comforting, in its own way, but at the same time...

He shook his head after a moment. Tried again. "Ah, I appreciate that, ani-" He cut himself off abruptly, his hesitation clear; that was part of the issue, wasn't it? Mondo had corrected that himself earlier, and hadn't gone back to using the more familiar term; he didn't understand why, but if they were back on a last-name basis, then that was how it was going to be. "...Oowada-kun." It didn't feel right. "But that wasn't what I meant."

He took another deep breath before continuing; his words were determined and perhaps overly forceful, delivered in the sharp, authoritative tone that he tended to take when he was trying to get some control over the situation. "Was there anything that I could have done to have prevented your actions against Fujisaki-kun, and do you hate me for not having found some way to intervene?"

Mondo had never liked acknowledging his more negative feelings (except perhaps anger, though that one was hard to cover up or ignore); this was no exception. He couldn't help but feel disappointed when Ishimaru went back to calling him by his last name, but it was something he really should have expected. How could they possibly be brothers after what he had done to Fujisaki?

Speaking of Fujisaki, Ishimaru clearly wasn't done discussing that, and Mondo's expression went back to completely clueless. "Huh?" He finally asked, not sure if he was hearing Ishimaru right. "You think I'd be upset with you because you didn't try to stop me from killing Fujisaki?"

That was so far out of left-field that he couldn't even process it properly. Ishimaru had no idea that this was going to happen. He had no idea that Mondo and Fujisaki weren't even in their rooms during Night Time to begin with. How could he have possibly interfered? There was literally no way he could have stopped Mondo, and even if he had been there (for whatever reason), did he really think that he was strong enough to stop Mondo when he was enraged like that? He considered asking, then decided against it. There was no need to say that in a state like that, he might have hurt - or worse, killed - his best friend. The thought alone made his skin crawl and he was quick to look away, working to think up some kind of response.

"Nah, I'm not mad at you. There was no way you could have known. I didn't even know it was going to happen. If I had planned the whole thing out then yeah, maybe you could have seen it coming. I don't really have a good poker face or anything, so I can see where you might blame yourself for not catching on to something like that. But I didn't plan it out at all. I didn't know it was going to happen - I didn't even realize it was happening until I woke up. There really wasn't anything you could have done, ani-- Ishimaru-kun." At least he had gone back to using a less formal honorific? Ishimaru didn't seem mad at him, so he figured that was probably okay.

"Even if there had been some way to prevent all this, by... I dunno, revealing the our secrets or whatever, I still wouldn't blame you. It wasn't your fault. I'm not one to blame other people for my own shortcomings and fuckups, you know? If I did that, I wouldn't be a very good leader, huh? My gang wouldn't have any reason to follow me. I'd be pretty fucking weak if I did that, wouldn't I?"

Despite the sheepish smile, Mondo had to wonder if there was any truth to that last part. It wasn't like he never blamed others for things that were his fault, after all. He wasn't that strong.

"I'm not gonna lie, if you had found some way to stop me, that would have been great. But you were probably asleep in your dorm, like everyone else. No one was around but me and Fujisaki." Well, except Togami, that bastard, but he probably hadn't been in the area around the time of the murder, just while Mondo was moving things afterwards. "I don't blame you. I don't want you blaming yourself either, alright? I know you would have tried to stop me if you could. You're a really good guy, Ishimaru-kun. You wouldn't have let that happen. But the fact is that you weren't there. No one else was. Fujisaki trusted me and I..."

Mondo shook his head. Now wasn't the time to get stuck on that. He had to reassure his friend.

"I'm not mad at you. It's... really presumptuous of me, but I don't think Fujisaki would be mad at you either. You did nothing wrong. 'Sides, if you start blaming yourself for that, you're gonna have to blame everyone else too, right? That's not fair to them either. So don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Ishimaru nodded a bit at all that, though his gaze was diverted back down toward the floor for most of it; what Mondo was saying...it made sense, but it still wasn't something that he'd be able to let go of easily. He could tell that much already; just the same, he looked up at Mondo after he was done speaking, and while he wasn't exactly pleased, he seemed calmer, at least.

"I still don't understand why - why it is that you did what you did. You've said something about secrets...the motives from Monobear? Is that what this was about?"

He didn't wait for an answer once that was out there, however. "I don't think it was enough to kill over. But since you're saying that revealing the secrets might have prevented it..."

The implication was clear; while Ishimaru didn't think it was enough to kill over, it was fairly obvious that Mondo did. And while Ishimaru seemed rather unsure of what to think of that, he still had one more thing to say on the matter.

"I don't know what your secret is, what you would kill Fujisaki-kun to protect. Or what Fujisaki-kun's secret could have been, if it enraged you into killing her. I can't think of anything that could be that important. But I'm not going to force you to tell me either yours or hers."

Mondo was silent for a moment. He forced himself to look back at Ishimaru. "I can't tell you her secret. I promised her I wouldn't let anyone know. When she gets here, she can decide if she's ready to tell you. She... she said she wanted to tell everyone, but that she needed to get stronger. I'm sure she'll be ready to tell you someday."

Now that he could think rationally about it, he was rather proud of Fujisaki. He was so strong and so brave, it was admirable. He doubted Fujisaki would ever want anything to do with him again when he arrived, but Mondo would at the very least apologize and make it clear that now that he could think logically about it, he was very pleased to see how strong Fujisaki was becoming. If only he hadn't lost control. Fujisaki would have gotten so much stronger.

"Monobear's motive wasn't the only thing that made me kill Fujisaki, don't get that wrong. I've... kind of got issues with being strong, I guess. I need to be strong to support the gang, you know? But I've always been pretty weak, and seeing Fujisaki being so strong it... well, it pissed me off. I thought she was making fun of me or... something. I don't really remember. I know I yelled at her before I blacked out. I'm not saying it's her fault, 'cause it's not. It's my fault for not being strong enough to overcome that.

"I'm not going to keep the secret from you though. It doesn't really matter here anyway and maybe it can kind of help explain where I'm coming from. Not the... killing Fujisaki thing, but the fact that I'm so... worked up about being strong, I guess."

Mondo stared at his hands, opening and closing them slowly. He wasn't really sure how to put this. It was painful to talk about, but it needed to be said. He really did believe that saying it could help Ishimaru understand him better.

"It was about... my brother. Daiya was older than me, so he founded the Crazy Diamonds. Daiya and Mondo... get it? He picked me for his second and prepared me to take over after he graduated. But people in the gang didn't think I'd live up to Daiya. They were worried that the Crazy Diamonds would fall apart without Daiya's leadership. So... I had to prove myself. I had to prove I was better than him.

"I challenged him to a race. Motorcycle race. On the highway; the sort of thing you'd never approve of, you know?"

He forced a smile, but it quickly disappeared as he continued.

"Daiya was always better than me. I knew that, but I thought that just this once I could beat him. I didn't want him to let me win, but I thought that I could do it. I started losing, so I stopped caring about the usual safety rules and started racing pretty recklessly. I could have gotten myself killed. I almost got myself killed. But Daiya, he..."

Mondo's voice hitched. He cleared his throat, shook his head, and continued, staring back at his hands.

"Daiya pushed me out of the way. If he had been even a second slower, I would've died. But he really was a fucking good racer. He saved me, but in doing so, he got hit. He... he made me promise to keep the gang alive. A man's promise. I told him I would. I told him I'd do anything for the Crazy Diamonds. Daiya died in my arms before he could even get to the hospital."

But the story didn't end there, and Mondo forced himself to keep going, once again swiping an arm across his eyes, almost angrily.

"That's what Monobear threatened to tell everyone - that I killed Daiya. The gang would've split up for sure. They would have been furious with me for killing their leader. I... didn't tell them the truth. I told them that I beat Daiya and when I started winning, he started racing recklessly and got hit. I couldn't tell them the truth; what would they have thought? They would have thought I was weak, that I couldn't be trusted or respected or worth following. I would have broken that promise! So I... I felt I had to lie about it. But Monobear...! He said he was going to reveal our secrets to everyone and if he did, my promise would have been broken anyway! After everything we've gone through, the gang still would've turned on me, I know it.

"I wasn't strong enough to face Daiya's death. I wasn't strong enough to tell the truth. And I sure as hell wasn't strong enough to tell any of you guys. Maybe if I had said something, you guys could have calmed me down or... I dunno, kept me locked up in my room or something. But I didn't. I don't blame you for that - you tried to get everyone to talk. You did what you thought was right, and I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for being so weak as to fall for that in the first place.

"But... there's a difference between what happened with Fujisaki. I killed Fujisaki. I... I took her life. I didn't take Daiya's. His death was my fault, but it's... different. 'I got someone killed' and 'I killed someone' are really different, you know? I still miss Daiya like fuck, but I... don't really feel like his death is totally my fault, you know? I think I can finally come to terms with that. It's Fujisaki's death I'll never be able to atone for and for that I'm... really, really sorry. I made you worry, I made you think that it was your fault somehow. It wasn't. Don't get started thinking that way, alright? Everything I did was my own fault and I don't want you - or anyone else - blaming anyone but me for it."

There were many things that were difficult to understand in Mondo's explanation, especially at first, but the explanation of the secret itself cleared up much of it. He wasn't incorrect in thinking that divulging it would help Ishimaru understand him better; unlike the first...large explanation of the state of things, this was decidedly less overwhelming, for a reason Ishimaru couldn't explain - rather than the odd, panicked look that the previous explanations had gotten, this seemed to quiet him, rendering him rather focused as he took all of it in.

He wasn't going to comment on this entire matter involving Mondo's brother; it wasn't something he felt he could pass judgement on - both because it wasn't his place to do that, and because it struck him rather hard as something he couldn't begin to understand in the first place. He had never experienced loss like that; he couldn't imagine what it would be like, much less comprehend having to keep the true circumstances of that loss such a large secret at all times.

But there was something in the explanation that troubled him; It took him a moment to articulate it, and when he finally managed something, it was incredibly unsure-sounding.

"I'm not going to keep blaming you, Oowada-kun."

He paused for a moment, then nodded again, as though confirming it to himself; the rest of his statements were quick to build in confidence, leading back to the usual volume and strength that he insisted on presenting at all times.

"I'm not unfamiliar with administering punishment to those who have committed some sort of wrongdoing - as the leader of the disciplinary committee, my assigned duties required it! And in the name of honor and personal integrity, I never punish those who have committed some sort of wrongdoing beyond what would be seen as fair and just! You...you mentioned being executed for what you did to Fujisaki-kun; while I don't agree with what happened, you accepted your punishment. There would be no sense in continuing to punish you further!"

He still didn't like mentioning the execution; just the same, he managed to recover from the falter well enough to continue. A mild stumble, nothing more.

"And outside of my title and duties as Super High-School Level Hall Monitor, I will do whatever I can to support and assist you! Should you still feel guilt over not immediately confessing in the trial, consider your guilt alone to be your punishment; you won't be receiving anything further from me - I will not turn on you, hold this against you or otherwise consider you weak, because you are my brother and aniki, you are one of the strongest people I know!"

Mondo opened his mouth to protest Ishimaru's first statement - he was wrong not to blame him; it was his fault, everything was his fault, and there was no way he'd ever get over the guilt of killing Fujisaki and then lying about it and nearly getting the others killed-- but Ishimaru was faster. He kept going, leaving Mondo to stare at him, speechless. Of course he knew what Ishimaru's Super High-School Level talent was, but he hadn't really thought about it like that. If anyone knew the correct way to punish someone for their crimes, it was Ishimaru, wasn't it? He did have a point, didn't he?

But then those last words hit and Mondo couldn't stop himself. He reached out to grab Ishimaru and pull him into a tight hug, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he did so. He was not going to cry, dammit!

"An-aniki..." He tried to start, but he couldn't quite find the rest of the sentence and found himself shaking instead. He figured Ishimaru would take that badly and would probably try to get a better look at him and dammit, he wasn't going to let Ishimaru see him cry because fuck, he was stronger than that! ...Not that it meant Ishimaru was weak when he cried but... Oh whatever! It's not like it mattered anyway!

"Y-you're too fucking good to me, you know that?" He finally managed.

If he was going to be perfectly honest, Ishimaru had never had any friends before Hope's Peak - that was honestly the only good thing that he could say had come of their situation, and even if it was a relatively thin silver lining in comparison to the hell they were being put through, he was sure he would never regret this bond he had formed with Mondo. From the sound of it, it was going to be short-lived - but that wasn't anything he was going to dwell on. Not now.

However, the lack of friendship and positive social interaction in general before this meant that he was completely and utterly unsure of what to do when suddenly pulled into an embrace in such a manner; Ishimaru was never opposed to physical contact or anything, but things outside of brief open-hand touches on the shoulder or playful slaps on the back were more than a bit foreign. The result, therefore, was probably something akin to putting a sweater on a small dog - it becomes comfortable enough after a while, but there's still a good long bit of time where the animal in question just sort of freezes up in complete bewilderment until it gets its bearings.

...yes, it was more or less exactly like that, really.

So for a few moments that seemed far longer than they possibly could have been in reality, he simply allowed Mondo to hug him, his hands hovering awkwardly over Mondo's sides without quite making contact; however, once he became aware of that odd shaking that Mondo was doing...well. He managed to refrain from pulling back to check what was going on, though he had to admit that he was tempted; he was fairly sure he had a good idea, however.

He shifted a bit to make the position as a whole more comfortable, kneeling down and settling back on his heels before allowing himself to make contact properly. Admittedly, he was still just kind of...awkwardly pressing his hands against Mondo's back gingerly as though he wasn't quite sure what to do, but he wasn't going to make Mondo break contact with him and he wasn't going to try to force eye contact, either.

"It's what I'm here for, aniki, don't worry."

...Well, he probably should have expected a reaction like that... Ishimaru was mostly talk when it came to friendship, Mondo had noticed. He was a little odd, sure, but who wasn't?

"Yeah... yeah, I'm not worrying." Though the hitch in his voice probably said more than he wanted it to. Mondo finally pulled back after a little while, rubbing at his eyes again in what he hoped was a discreet manner but was really just incredibly obvious. There was no sense in hugging on his friend all day, that was both a waste of the day and really awkward.

When he finally faced Ishimaru again, he was grinning like nothing had happened. "Well? Are you just gonna make me sit in this stuffy place all day? C'mon, let's go outside!"

Awkward indeed; it wasn't a voluntary reaction at all, but Ishimaru was rather obviously relieved when Mondo let go of him, allowing himself to let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding until that moment and raking a hand backwards through his hair.

The reaction was a brief one, however, and he was quick to laugh, the sound light; he pushed himself to his feet easily, meeting that smile of Mondo's with one of his own. "Yes, yes, of course! I just ask that you have patience for a few minutes longer - I can't go out dressed like this."

"I guess I can see why; it's not your usual uniform, huh?" But even as he said it, Mondo had to wonder if that was right. Was there something more to this organization? Team Rocket didn't exactly sound like a group that supported fucking puppies and rainbows. "Or is there something you're not telling me?" He teased.

That got something of a startled noise, even as Ishimaru turned back to call the elevator. "If you think I would desecrate my uniform by modifying it to this extent...!"

While it would have been hard to tell whether he was serious or not based solely on his voice inflection - Ishimaru tended to have one volume, after all - his expression was playful enough. "It won't take long at all; I'll show you where my room is located at the same time, so you'll know where to find me later."

LOCKED TO ardent

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