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JUST FUCK ME UP

Private post for all things Silver and Ryuunosuke. Because I like pain.

idk maybe I'll make this prettier some day, don't get your hopes up though

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A normal guy that investigates bodies and summons demons. And no offense, but you were kind of the one sticking out this trial.

[...]

No, really, no offense at all. If everyone else was normal, normal is stupid.

I studied some things while I was attending college and I've got an overactive imagination, that's all.

[Well, he's pretty sure the dream was just a dream, but there really isn't any way to explain the body investigations. He's given at least three different versions of why he's doing that because somehow it never occurs to him that people will ask about that.

He's not addressing the latter part of that because he honestly has no idea what to say.]

...What about that stuff at the trial?

[You're not getting out of this so easily, Ryuunosuke.]

Oh, I uh...

[oh jeez]

Well, someone has to take things seriously!

[There is no getting out of this, is there.]

And I'm glad you did.

[...Well, he is.]

Did you really not care?

[...]

By the rules of the game, she killed someone. I don't see why everyone's upset about it.

[There you go. Ryuunosuke's words have slipped back into the more serious tone from the trial and his expression is colder to match it.]

[...Oh. Well.

How the fuck does he even explain this.]

...They liked her, I guess. People get more upset when it's someone they care about. Or when it's someone they think doesn't deserve it.

[...He says it, sure, but he doesn't seem entirely certain about what he's saying.]

But she did deserve it. Even if it was an accident like she claimed, she still tried to get away with it. So obviously she was playing the game and by those rules, once she was found she was going to die.

[It's all really straightforward to him. He doesn't see how there's any room for arguing that.]

I don't understand how they could like her that much to put their own lives at risk anyway. They've only known her for a couple of weeks.

...I don't get it either.

[That's... That's exactly the way he sees it.]

I mean, some people are just that nice, I guess, and maybe I'm missing something because I don't like any of them, but... This whole situation is sad. It sucks that the only way out is to kill people, and it's bad that we have to put people to death, too. What makes one stranger's death so special? Is that what made everyone realize that we're killing each other to save our own lives? It wasn't any different the first time.

Exactly. If they're going to put on such a show for her why didn't they put on one for the last guy? Because he framed someone? Because he was a jerk about it? Does it really matter? He had a reason to kill someone to escape. What she did was supposedly an accident. I don't get how one can be more sympathetic than the other.

[And that's the massive glaring issue here, isn't it?

...Well, besides the serial killing thing, but Silver doesn't need to know that.]

[...That's definitely not normal. Even he gets the difference between those two. But Ryuunosuke really doesn't, does he?]

It's the intent. There's a difference between accidentally tripping someone down the stairs and pushing them.

[God damn was that tactless, but here we are.]

It's more forgivable when there's a more understandable reason behind it. It doesn't change what has to be done, but...

[...But nothing. It doesn't change what has to be done. Maybe he's cruel for thinking that way, but... He wants to survive. He wants to live.]

I still don't get it. Either way they're going to die. Why does it matter if it was intentional or accidental? Who cares if their motivations were "good" or not? They chose to play the game and they weren't good enough at it, so they have to die.

[Yep, this is still perfectly normal. Well, okay, he knows it's not normal, but what Silver's saying still doesn't make any sense, so here we are.]

...They do. I'm not arguing that.

[He's right that it doesn't really matter, but at the same time...]

Emotions don't work like that. They don't always make sense. I mean... It goes the other way too. If something happened to you, I wouldn't treat whoever did it the same way either.

Why?

[That's not what he should have said, um. Shit, how the hell can he save this...?]

I uh... I mean...

[...........]

It's only been two weeks?

[HE TRIED SO HARD.]

...I said I like you, didn't I?

[Ryuunosuke, what even...]

I don't really want anyone to die, but I definitely don't want you to die.

[...]

But you're right. It's only been two weeks. I'd be upset, but I could get over it.

[Nailed it.]

Right. Yeah. It'd be weird if you didn't.

[And there are probably a hundred things wrong with that too, but like hell if he knows what they are. He's so far out of his element here, is it obvious??]

...Do you really think it's that strange? That someone would miss you if you died?

Yeah? It's never something I've thought about before.

[That's probably pretty depressing, but there isn't anyone left who would care, so...???]

Well, I would.

[...But yes, that's absolutely depressing, and Silver's making a concentrated effort to not get too weird and sad about it.]

...I don't understand.

[That sounds defeated instead of the same even tone he's had the whole time.]

...You've been nice to me. I like talking to you. I've got no reason not to miss you if something happened to you. So I would.

But if it still doesn't make sense, that's okay too. It's okay to not understand why, as long as you understand that I would.

[His tone doesn't change much, but his expression is calm and patient. There's no judgement here.]

[That's even stranger. Every time he's admitted that he doesn't understand something like this, people leave. The ones who didn't were his family, but they were kind of stuck with him anyway. They thought he could be fixed. He's twenty-four years old and he's still not fixed.]

...Okay.

[But Silver's not trying to find a way to fix him or leaving, Silver's just asking him to accept that.]

Alright. I don't plan on dying anyway, but... I'll keep that in mind, I guess?

Good.

[...And you know what, that's good enough for now; he's learned something about Ryuunosuke today, and he's pushed enough.]

Let's make it out of here together, okay?

[That's a really dumb thing for Silver to say, especially after hearing all of that. Ryuunosuke's head is tipped slightly to the side, but when he responds it's with an answer that's a bit more genuine then he thought it would be.]

...Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.

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