JUST FUCK ME UP

[greatestcool]

Private post for all things Silver and Ryuunosuke. Because I like pain.

idk maybe I'll make this prettier some day, don't get your hopes up though

Comments

[feistytrader]

[You know, Silver just stares at Ryuunosuke for quite a while after he says that. Occasionally he'll glance down at Weavile like he's trying to confirm if he heard that right, and then he'll just go back to staring at Ryuunosuke again.

First there's the serial killer part, which... Well, it isn't good, but it's something he can grasp the concept of, it's something that makes sense. Killing his family, on the other hand; isn't family supposed to be important? Why would he just- But maybe he shouldn't be stuck on that part, given that he just expressed the sentiment that he wants to kill the hell out of his dad. So where does that leave him?

Ryuunosuke kills people.

Ryuunosuke is in a game where people are encouraged to murder.

Fear seizes him up immediately.]

Don't.

[It's a single word, and it's soft, but it's all he can really manage at the moment.]

[greatestcool]

I've never told anyone this before, you know. I've never been caught. I've never been a suspect. I'm good at what I do. That's why I'm good with bodies and that's why I'm good at figuring this stuff out. Killing's the only thing I enjoy, so there's nothing you can do or say that'll make me stop.

[He runs a hand through his bangs but he doesn't look away. His expression and his tone haven't changed at all.]

I could probably win this game, if I really wanted to. As it stands this is the most fun I've had in years. So if I decide I'm done, I'll win the game and go home. But until then, I'm going to get what enjoyment I can from it.

So. There you go. My secret. If someone's got a worse one than that I'll be surprised.

[He turns a bit to grab the paper and hold it out to Silver, in case he wants the physical proof that Ryuunosuke isn't bullshitting him.]

[feistytrader]

[Silver listens, but he shakes his head immediately, and he doesn't stop until Ryuunnosuke's finished speaking.]

I don't care what you do out of here.

[Well, he's talking again, but tears are welling up in his eyes and his voice isn't doing much better.]

But don't you dare kill someone in here. Not while I'm still around. If you really want to that badly, then make sure I'm not around to see it.

If you make me execute you- if you leave me alone in here- I'll never forgive you.

[greatestcool]

[Ryuunosuke is quiet for a long time. He's seen people cry before - quite a few times in his direction - but he's never really felt anything.

He's not sure what he's feeling right now, but he's feeling something.]

I don't understand.

[The words almost sound frustrated.]

I'm a terrible person. That's not going to change. Aren't you supposed to listen to something like this and decide you hate me? Aren't you supposed to tell the others what you've heard? I don't get it. Why are you crying?

[By the time he's done the frustration's gone, leaving him feeling that same strange emotion that he can't place.]

[feistytrader]

I don't hate you.

[...Words are difficult, but he definitely wants to get that across, at least.]

I don't like it, but I don't hate you for it. And I'm not telling the others because I hate them and I like you.

[He wipes at his face. It doesn't really help, but it's something to do with himself.]

I don't know why I'm crying.

[greatestcool]

I know that they screwed up in the first trial and I know you don't trust a lot of them, but how can you trust me after something like that? I could've killed you at any point.

[But he didn't. It wouldn't be smart to kill Silver in his own room, yeah, but he could have asked Silver to go with him anywhere and Silver would have followed. And maybe that wouldn't have been smart either, but that honestly never crossed his mind. He never thought about killing Silver. That's... really weird.]

[feistytrader]

You could've killed me at any point without being a serial killer.

[That's the kind of game they're in. He took his chances with Ryuu weeks ago. And more than that-]

You never did.

[greatestcool]

Yeah. I didn't.

[He seems confused by that more than anything else.]

But the point still stands. I'm an awful person and you shouldn't spend your time worrying about me.

[feistytrader]

You're also my friend.

[It's really, really nice to be able to hug Weavile through this conversation.]

[greatestcool]

But I don't feel anything towards you. I don't feel anything at all.

[That's not true. He's feeling something and he kind of hates it (as much as he can hate anything, anyway) because it's weird and it's not pleasant and he'd rather go back to feeling nothing.]

[feistytrader]

You don't have to.

[Sure, it hurts to hear that, but... If that's how Ryuunosuke is, that's how he is, right?]

But the same way you can't help feeling nothing, I can't help feeling what I do. I care about you a lot. I don't want to lose you.

[He's done crying, at least. He's still pretty obviously upset, but he got a handle on the tears.]

[greatestcool]

[Silver isn't going to give up on this, is he? Nothing Ryuunosuke can say will get him to stop. He sighs loudly and drops his head onto his arms, staying like that for a moment.]

I'll never understand.

[It's sort of muffled. It's not just about Silver's determination to still be his friend.]

But alright. I guess you can do what you want.

[feistytrader]

[Good.

The relief is all over his face; he's not entirely sure when he got as tense as he did but his shoulders definitely ease up after Ryuunosuke's words.]

Thank you.

[...]

Although you know, I'm not sure that I believe that you don't feel anything.

[greatestcool]

...What do you mean?

[He glances up, head tipped to the side.]

I don't feel anything.

[That's a goddamn lie.]

[feistytrader]

You just spend the last five minutes trying really hard to push me away. If you didn't feel anything, why would you bother? It's to your benefit to have me around, isn't it?

[greatestcool]

[...Silver's absolutely right. There's no reason for him to try to push Silver away. So why did he do it?

Ryuunosuke stares in silence for a long time before he finally shakes his head slowly.]

I don't know why I did that.

[Because he's having a feeling, apparently? Is this how everyone works all the time? It's exhausting.]

[feistytrader]

What were you thinking?

[He'd let it slide, but... This is important, isn't it? Ryuunosuke doesn't usually feel things, so when he does, it's definitely important.]

[greatestcool]

I just thought it'd be best if you didn't keep doing this? I... I really don't know.

[FEELINGS ARE HARD, SILVER.]

[feistytrader]

Sounds like concern to me.

[You did it buddy, you had a feeling]

[greatestcool]

Are you sure? Is it supposed to be kind of uncomfortable?

[...ryuunosuke uryuu is bad at feelings.]

[feistytrader]

If it's not at least a little uncomfortable, it's not really concern.

[Silver is somewhat better at feelings! ...He should not be a feelings teacher, dear god.]

[greatestcool]

Oh.

[...So he's actually feeling something that isn't excitement or mania? Whoa.]

I've definitely never felt like this before.

[feistytrader]

I'm glad you're feeling something new.

[I mean sure, it's nice because said something was concern over him, but he's also just genuinely happy for Ryuu.]

[greatestcool]

...I guess it's a good thing?

[He has no idea. Is this good?? Is concern a good thing to feel???]

[feistytrader]

Of course it is. You only feel concern when you care about someone.

[...Okay, that's not entirely true, some people are nice enough to be concerned about complete strangers. ...Which means they care about complete strangers? Either way, in Ryuunosuke's case, that's probably a true statement.

...

Which means that he cares about him.

Silver's getting a little pink in the face.]