TESTRUN SHIT

[sadisticwarfare]

[It's a beautiful day in Ecruteak City. The sun in shining, there's barely any clouds in the sky, the birds are chirping, and it seems like nothing can go wrong on a day like today.

...Too bad someone's never been fond of peace and quiet. The bombs go off in the north of town at exactly 10:00 AM, and judging from the explosions, there were quite a few of them. Smoke billows from the Bell Tower, and judging from the citizens' panicked reactions, this definitely isn't normal.

Of course, getting into the Bell Tower is easier said than done, considering the fact that there's a building you have to go through first and several sages guarding it.]

Comments

[sadisticwarfare]

[It's attached to something alright! In fact, it looks like it's going under the bridge. It's kind of hard to see from this angle though. What do you want to do, Tsukiyama?]

[preybeforemeals]

[...Well. He has a Masquerain and a psychic squid.

Let's see what's under the bridge. Renaud, please don't be a shit and actually convey to him what's under the bridge, if you will.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[That's certainly a bomb under that bridge, um. It seems to be secured there by... a lot of duct tape. A lot of duct tape. The bomb itself is pretty small and the trip wire attaches to it; there doesn't seem to be any other way to set it off without pulling on the trip wire.]

[preybeforemeals]

[...shit. Now is probably a bad time to realize that he has no idea how to actually disarm these things, isn't it...

Okay, so the question of the day is whether he should leave it and risk it possibly blowing up, or whether he should actually try to do something about it and risk it...almost definitely blowing up; after a moment's deliberation, he is just going to decide that this is categorically not his problem.

Those sages are going to be greeted by the squid again, with the general message that they might want to send a Jenny or twelve to the sixth floor because we've got a live bomb up here.

In the meantime, Tsukiyama is just going to convey Alessia over the tripwire and keep moving because as far as he's concerned he still has someone's ass to kick.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Well that'll send the sages and the Jennys into a panic, thanks Tsukiyama. Hopefully you don't take too long up there because the Jenny Bomb Squad will be showing up shortly!

(Do the Jennys even have a bomb squad? WELL THEY DO NOW, THANKS)

...But this is better than having the sages trip over the wire so...

Anyway, the rest of the floor seems to be good! The second and third bridges are pretty long, but if you investigate them you'll find that there's no other bombs there.]

[preybeforemeals]

[Tres bien, no one's going to die today!

...at least so far.

Just let him call back the bug and the squid, then. Do we have more stairs?]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Indeed there are more stairs! Welcome to floor 7! It looks like your friends the bridges are back, have fun with those. This floor is also home to a brand new and super cool mechanic, warp tiles!

...Sorry in advance.

The warp tiles are those weird glowing spots, and from the look of it, navigating this room is going to be super fun.]

[preybeforemeals]

[He'll leave Alessia out with him to check for more tripwires on those bridges first, telling her to be mindful of the warp tiles and avoid them for now. There's one right there but he'd rather not hit it without knowing what it is.

So. First things first. Any tripwires in the immediate vicinity?]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Nope! This area is completely clear. There aren't any stairs leading up either, so it looks like you're going to have to brave the warp tiles to get any further.]

[preybeforemeals]

[All right, that's a little...strange. He's noted the lack of stairs, at least; that just leaves the glowing tiles all over as this room's mystery.

That means it's time for a rousing game of WHICH OF THE CHILDREN DOES DADDY LOVE LEAST while he tries to figure out what these tiles are supposed to do! He'll just be walking over to one without stepping on it, holding one of his Pokéballs directly over it; Berlouis has failed him challenge-wise recently, and he's tried to release the Cherrim twice. The stupid thing keeps following him around, so damn it, he's going to be useful today.

Onto the warp tile he goes! Let's see what that does.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[YOU'RE AWFUL

The poor Cherrim disappears in a flash of light, but thankfully it won't be gone for good! In fact, the Cherrim is now over there on that island, on the side closest to Tsukiyama.]

[preybeforemeals]

[...Oh. Well, that was sort of exciting. He has no idea how it works; it looks like one of those horrifying things from science fiction that disassemble and reassemble you on a molecular level.

Or, in less fancy terms, kill you and clone you over and over. That's creepy.

That said, Alessia is just looking at him with the general sentiment of "...DUDE" in her eyes, while Berlouis just looks...confused. He even came out of the wrappings for this because sir, why...]

Well? We don't have all day, amore, get on the other one.

[This Cherrim suffers so much. Excuse him while he wanders over to the other warp panel on that island, then...]

[sadisticwarfare]

[TSUKIYAMA PLS.....

Well, that poor Cherrim will find himself over on the final panel near the windows looking out on Bellchime Trail. Should Berlouis attempt to step on it again though, he won't be whisked back to panel #3, instead he'll be taken up a floor! Don't question these things okay.]

[preybeforemeals]

[Well, he was going to do that anyway because he really doesn't like this; he's not flat-out whining, but he's seeming really displeased, and he wants to go back over there to his trainer and try to work out where his life went so horribly wrong and he's in the process of doing that when OOPS

...and yeah, Tsukiyama's pretty sure that isn't supposed to happen, but...all...right then? Come on, Alessia, let's...follow that I guess...

...and try not to think of the fact that transporters kill and clone you because that's creepy...]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Just don't think about it for too long and you'll be fine!!

Congratulations, you've reached floor 8! You'll find yourself just above the southeast corner with another of those bridges leading north. There's only one other teleport pad you can reach from here, but you'll have to brave the bridge!]

[preybeforemeals]

[Alessia first, as always. (...he also has a really distraught Cherrim to ignore.)

Is the bridge safe?]

[sadisticwarfare]

[The bridge is indeed safe! No tripwires or hidden bombs here!]

[preybeforemeals]

[Excellent.

In that case, he will be a responsible trainer and actually pick up Berlouis; the Cherrim apparently does not know Tsukiyama very well because he is taking this as an invitation to cuddle.

It is not, in fact, an invitation to cuddle, and he will be making this fact very clear by unceremoniously dropping him on that other warp panel.

Where does it go.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[You're the worst trainer ever. Ever.

The poor thing is going to end up on the other side of the room, just south of that bird statue. There's another bridge leading down to yet another teleport pad.]

[preybeforemeals]

[And he will just be smiling at that poor dazed Cherrim once he's there.]

I'm waiting.

[...]

Oh, and do be mindful of the bridge. Sometimes there are wires.

[See, he's not all bad. He warned him!

...right, down to the southern pad we go, assuming there are no wires.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[DO YOU WANT YOUR POKÉMON TO DIE

...Well, he won't because there aren't any wires here either. That warp pad will land him in the center of the room, and once again, you're going to have to step on it to get it to take you to the next floor! These things are confusing as hell, how do the sages get up here to clean?]

[preybeforemeals]

[Hmmm...well, he'll just be following it up, then! As little as he likes these things, at least it's better than running up half a million flights of stairs.

...even if Berlouis is not going to stop clinging to his pants leg anytime soon. Okay. What's up here?]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Congratulations, you've reached floor 9!

You're probably going to immediately notice that this place has seen some things. More like lots of things. The majority of the floor toward the south near the windows is covered in scorch marks, soot, and those black pieces. The beams are looking a little hazardous in places, so you'll have to watch your step if you try to get closer! Of course, that's easier said than done considering the fact that you've wound up in the northern portion of the room, the northeast to be exact.

The weakened beams and debris aren't the only things to worry about, however. There's also a fire raging across the beams in the southwest. You probably don't want to get near those warp pads while the fire's going. So now what?]

[preybeforemeals]

[...We lament the fact that he doesn't have a water-type, that's what.

All right, there's a warp panel up in the northwest, it looks like, so that's going to be the first stop. Yes, he is dropping Berlouis again. Yes, this may backfire hilariously and drop his Cherrim into the flames. No, he doesn't give a single fuck.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[...Goddammit, Tsukiyama. Goddammit.

Luckily for your Cherrim, the warp pad drops him off in the east, which should be far enough from the flames for the poor thing's comfort. It looks like you're going to have to figure out some way to fight the flames or get to the ladder leading up to the next floor.]