LOCKED TO blazingspirit

[diamondo]

[He doesn't remember much about his execution.

Oh sure, he remembers the lead-up to it; he remembers how the others looked on as he was led away and sure, he remembers Ishimaru's screams. He doesn't remember the death cage nor does he remember the sudden pain before it was all over.

It made waking up here incredibly confusing.

"Here" must be some sort of afterlife, but Mondo hasn't been able to figure out what it is, exactly. It's obviously not heaven (he's killed two people, he doesn't belong in heaven), but it doesn't seem to be hell either. Things are monotonous, yes, but they're not bad.

That leaves the option of purgatory, which Mondo is more or less fine with. It's better than spending an eternity suffering. It's probably not right for him to stay here instead of moving on to hell, but he doesn't know how or when that will happen. He's content to leave it at that for the time being.

This place is a rather large city - half of it is full of native English speakers, whom Mondo tends to avoid (his English is atrocious, after all), the other half is full of Japanese speakers. The city itself doesn't seem to be anywhere Mondo has ever seen, but it's large and spread out, with plenty to explore and do. Mondo hasn't seen everything there is to see though; he's only been here for a few weeks, and he knew if he wanted to make ends meet, he'd need a job first. Exploring could wait.

It's convenient that there's a carpenter's shop just down the road from the apartment Mondo woke up in. It might not technically be his, but he's been staying there until he can afford to properly rent it out. No one has complained so far, so he figures it's fine for the time being. The carpenter works him to the bone and he's never been so exhausted in his life when he comes home, but it's a good kind of exhaustion that means he's doing something productive. He can't make up for what he's done in the past, but he can help out here.

He's off work for the day, lounging around in what serves as the living room of his apartment, flipping through the newspaper. The dates here are all screwed up - it's almost winter here and he knows he'll have to put some money away toward buying proper winter clothes. That's only a minor concern though, because he has much bigger things to worry about.

In a city this large, it's possible that he's just missed seeing the others. He hasn't been looking very hard, admittedly. He's not sure what to say to them when he does see them. "Sorry" simply won't cut it for Fujisaki. He doesn't really want to see Kuwata, Enoshima, or Maizono either. He's sure it's only a matter of time before one of them finds him, or before someone else shows up here.

All he can do is hope that it won't be Ishimaru.]

Comments

[diamondo]

[Saying that things have been going well is an understatement. Things have been going wonderfully. The few, brief arguments that they have are over and done with in a few hours and by the end of the day they're long forgotten. Mondo's feeling a lot better about himself as well - the usual bouts of self-loathing have mostly stopped, and when they do happen, they're only for brief periods of time and no longer interfere with his work.

All in all, things are really looking up.

He's even doing better with his job as well; he's still not allowed to make anything on his own yet, but he studies with his boss and works very hard to do the best he can, and he's never disappointed. He comes home aching every day, but it's worth it. He hasn't earned enough for a bike yet, but every little bit he saves up gets him closer to his goal, and Mondo's just proud that he's managed to do this without resorting to stealing. He feels a lot better about himself now that he actually has a job and is earning a living.

If there's one thing that's changed though, it's his feelings toward Ishida. The "I love you"s are still common, but they always make Mondo incredibly awkward. It's taken him awhile to figure out why, but now that it's become clear, it's incredibly obvious.

He does love Ishida. He just doesn't love Ishida as a brother.

The realization simply came with a sense of "oh"; it was so obvious he felt stupid after realizing it. He's not embarrassed or ashamed of it, and really, it makes sense. He hasn't bonded with anyone like this in a long time, so of course it figures that he'd fall in love with Ishida. He can't say he minds though, and continues spending time with him as normal, determined to find some way to properly express his interest without screaming. Not that that would really matter, since he's certain Ishida would just scream back at him. In a way, it's comforting to know that.

He is a little nervous that Ishida will reject him on account of their close bond, but he's not going to get anywhere if he doesn't try. He's just waiting for the right opportunity.

Mondo is home before Ishida today - it was a shorter day in the shop because the boss had a delivery and didn't need Mondo's help with it - so he's downstairs, reading one of those books Ishida had suggested. He's not really a big fan of reading, but the subject material is fascinating, and he has to wait for Ishida to come home anyway.

He glances up when the door opens and grins.]

Hey, kyoudai! How was your day?

[blazingspirit]

Kyoudai - you're home early!

[He doesn't sound mad or anything, though; really, he just grins and throws himself down on the couch next to him.]

It's been great, it was...really, really fuckin' great, I feel amazing - and how was yours?!

[diamondo]

That good, huh? What the hell happened to get you so pumped?

[He laughs though, reaching out to tousle Ishida's hair.]

Mine was pretty good. Boss had to go deliver shit, so I got let off early. It was a pretty good day, but yours sounds better. What happened?

[blazingspirit]

[He is so excited he's practically vibrating, Mondo.]

Well, you...you remember Kirihara, right? That girl I work with?

We were talking, and she said she's interested. She wants to date!

[diamondo]

[...Oh.

For a moment Mondo's grin falters and he just looks confused, before he forces that grin to reappear. It was just a momentary weakness, he's sure Ishida will write it off as him forgetting who Kirihara was. Right?]

Ah, no way, really? Congrats!

[He should have figured for this. Ishida's a little odd, yes, but he means well and he's a good guy. Doesn't it just figure that someone else would make a move before he could? If he had just pulled himself together sooner and actually said something--]

So you guys are dating now?

[The disconnect between his words, expression, and thoughts is pretty impressive, but he's seeming a little more distant than usual.]

[blazingspirit]

...I don't know - I mean, I said I'd think about it, but we haven't really...decided on anything, we've kinda kissed a couple of times and that was nice, but...

[...look, he's pretty damn oblivious, but he's not that oblivious.]

Hey. You okay?

[diamondo]

[He can only imagine that that was Ishida's first kiss. He doubts Ishimaru has ever had a girlfriend before, and hell, even if he had, this still would have been Ishida's first kiss. For some reason that really bothers him; it's such an insignificant thing, but he would have liked for Ishida's first kiss to be with him.

...God, he really has gone soft.]

Huh? Yeah, 'course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be?

[Quick, he needs to come up with a suitable explanation!]

...I guess I"m kinda jealous that you managed to get a girl before me, but you don't meet a lot of girls working in a carpenter's shop!

[He laughs. Just pretend the sound isn't fake.]

[blazingspirit]

[This isn't striking him as right, but Ishida's never really been good at reading people; he isn't as trusting as Ishimaru was when it comes to believing that he'd never be lied to, but he can't imagine what the issue actually...is. Mondo's always been kind of awkward over the whole...girl-thing; maybe that really is what this is about.

It bothers him, but he'll keep an eye on it; for the time being, he just nudges him a bit.]

Hey, come on, don't girls tend to think that kind of thing's hot? We just have to find you the right one, that's all!

[diamondo]

Yeah, I guess so!

[Only there will never be a right one because the right one is sitting right here next to him!

Of course he manages to contain that thought, still grinning. Well, it's a grin, but it almost looks more like he's barring his teeth. He might be a little pissed at himself for not acting sooner.]

[blazingspirit]

[...okay, yeahno, what is going on.]

...Kyoudai, are you sure you're okay? Don't lie to me.

[diamondo]

Yeah, 'course I'm okay! Why the fuck wouldn't I be!?

[He's getting too loud and he definitely slammed too hard down on that word there, but there's really nothing he can do about that now. He doesn't want to lie to Ishida, but Ishida's obviously very happy with the idea of dating this girl, so isn't that for the best?]

I'm fucking jealous, alright!?

[He'll just... leave it at that...]

[blazingspirit]

Well, yeah, you keep telling me that!! But why is it pissing you off like this?! You'll get a damn girl eventually - can't you just be fucking happy for me?!

[diamondo]

[Mondo flinches at that and immediately ducks his head so his hair is obscuring his face. Of course he should be happy for Ishida. He shouldn't be so fucking selfish; if Ishida's happy, that's all that matters, right?]

...Yeah, you're right. Fuck, I'm sorry, okay?

[blazingspirit]

...shit.

[The swear is quiet, under his breath, but he's quick to shift positions on the couch, reaching out and laying a hand firmly on Mondo's shoulder. He doesn't try to make him look up at him, but he's still at least trying to be reassuring.]

Hey, it's okay! I just don't get what's pissing you off so badly.

[diamondo]

[Mondo doesn't look up but he doesn't shrug Ishida's hand off either.]

It's nothing. Like I said, I'm just jealous, and I wasn't really thinking, y'know? What matters is that you're happy.

[blazingspirit]

[...all right, man. He leaves his hand where it is, though, squeezing Mondo's shoulder a bit.]

Well, if that's really all it is, we'll find someone for you, kyoudai! You're a great guy - fuck, if I can manage this shit, I'm sure you can!

[diamondo]

Yeah, 'course!

[What matters is that Ishida's happy. That's what matters most.]

I'm gonna get a shower and then head to bed, alright? I'm exhausted.

[It's close enough to the truth that it doesn't seem awkward or forced and Mondo is quick to leave for the bathroom.

What matters is that Ishida's happy. As long as Ishida's happy, he can be happy. He should be happy.

He winds up slamming a fist into the shower wall hard enough to hurt, but it doesn't do any damage to either the shower or his hand. He almost wishes it had; it would give him something else to focus on.

Mondo finishes quickly enough and comes out still drying his hair. He sits on his side of the bed and stays quiet, repeating his little mantra to himself.

What matters is that Ishida's happy.]

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida doesn't follow him right away; he's not sure what's going on, but he's pretty sure Mondo wants his space. But it has been a pretty long day, and after a while he makes his way upstairs to dress for bed.

He finds Mondo sitting on the edge of the bed; he's not sure what do with that, but he tries to shake it off.]

...weird noise up here earlier; did you hear it?

[He can't exactly be sure whether it was the neighbors or...something that'd happened up here; c'mon, kyoudai, give him something to work with.]

[diamondo]

Huh, really? Nah, I didn't hear anything.

[Whoops, next time he should probably try not smashing things. At least it temporarily felt good. He finishes with the towel and tosses it toward the laundry hamper, flopping down on his side of the bed and folding his hands on his stomach, just staring up at the ceiling.

He knows he should probably say something, but he can't come up with anything. He finally rolls onto his side and tugs the covers up to wrap himself in a burrito. As much as he wants to cling to Ishida and never let go, he figures it's best to have some space for now.]

'Night.

[blazingspirit]

[For some reason, that hurts; he may not really understand why Mondo's getting like this, but given how they usually sleep, the implications of what he's doing with the blankets aren't lost on him at all. Ishida can feel his temper flaring up at it, but he manages to bite back anything he could have said to that; if Mondo's wanting to get like this over a fucking girl of all things, then he's more than welcome to.]

...Whatever, kyoudai. Get some fucking sleep.

[He'll just be going back downstairs to read, then, goddamn; if he falls asleep down here, then so be it, he'll stay down here all fucking night.]

[diamondo]

[As long as he's happy. As long as he's happy. As long as he's fucking happy.

Mondo manages to drift off eventually, but he doesn't stay asleep for long. The nightmares haven't lessened any since he arrived, and he finds himself dreaming. This time it isn't about Hope's Peak at all. It's about here, when Ishida left because - as usual - Mondo had screwed things up. The nightmare makes no sense whatsoever, but in the moment he can't really tell that - it starts off during that time, when Ishida has left but it warps into Ishida being happier with her and leaving him entirely. He said he wouldn't leave, but he's leaving anyway.

He wakes suddenly, breathing heavily and heart pounding. It wasn't as bad as some of the nightmares he's had, where he's woken up screaming or crying - but this one resonates with him. If he fucks up again, Ishida might just leave permanently. He stumbles to the bathroom in the dark to get a glass of water and try to calm himself down.

He needs to talk to Ishida about this before they break out into an argument and Ishida leaves again. He can't lose Ishida. He just can't.]

Ishida?

[Is he even upstairs? If not, Mondo will go check downstairs to see if Ishida fell asleep down there.]

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida hasn't come back upstairs; he'd spent some time pacing around the living room and just trying to work some frustration out, and once he'd gotten to a point where he could actually remain still for more than three minutes without wanting to throw something, he'd thrown himself down on the couch to try to get some rest. He doubted he was going to sleep much, if he slept at all; however, the emotions running high all day - some good, some bad - had apparently worn him out more than he'd thought, and he'd drifted off soon enough.

Whatever sleep he manages to slip into is fitful, though; he's twitching quite a bit in his sleep, and he seems to be having some issues keeping still. He's out of it enough to not hear Mondo calling for him upstairs, however; sorry about that, man.]

[diamondo]

[Mondo's relieved to find that Ishida's still there, that he hasn't left. He stands around for a moment, not really sure what to do since he doesn't want to wake Ishida, but he doesn't really want to leave him down here either. He can't keep an eye on Ishida that way, and even if Ishida has no plans of leaving, that dream has left Mondo paranoid enough for it to worry him. After a moment of thought (and that's really all it is, a brief moment), he moves to pick Ishida up and carry him upstairs.]

[blazingspirit]

[He stirs a bit at that, though it doesn't seem to be a bad thing; he nuzzles against him a bit while he's being carried upstairs. It's hard to tell if he's awake or just kind of resettling in his sleep, but either way he seems to appreciate it, and judging from the way a lot of the tension leaves his body he's feeling perfectly safe being held like that.

His words are slurred a little when he finally speaks once they've reached the top of the stairs, his voice thick with sleep; he doesn't quite open his eyes, but he looks like he's considering.]

...everything okay, kyoudai?

[diamondo]

Yeah. Everything's fine now. I told you that couch was shitty, dumbass.

[But he's clearly teasing and once they're in the room, he sets Ishida down on the bed gently before joining him. This time he doesn't bundle himself in the blankets, instead cuddling close to his friend. He absently ruffles Ishida's hair before pulling him into a tight hug.]