locked to manufactured

[scythegun]

[When Wesker didn't contact him a day ago he was worried, but worry has quickly turned to fear and Jaeger's never been good at dealing with fear. Repeated attempts to reach Wesker have failed, so Jaeger's taken it on himself to go looking for his boyfriend.

Thankfully Wesker cuts a distinctive figure and Jaeger's able to trace his location to the outskirts of the city. He's worried that he's going to find that something's happened to Wesker, that he'll be injured or dying, or maybe even already dead—

But that isn't the case, and when he finds Wesker the man looks perfectly fine.]

Albert!

[He'll approach immediately; the worry and concern is probably obvious just from that exclamation alone, but once he gets close he speaks up again.]

Are you okay? What are you doing out here?

[If Wesker will let him get close enough, he'll reach out to touch Wesker's arm, as he usually does.]

Comments

[scythegun]

I know that you can come back from almost anything and you're much more durable than a normal person would be. You're also much stronger and faster because of it. It's changed your eyes, as well.

[He probably missed something, but those are the first things to come to mind.]

[manufactured]

Apparently I've only had it since January - it was dormant until I was hit by a car and killed, according to notes I took around that time.

I didn't take it well, from the sound of it.

[scythegun]

...No, you didn't. You were immensely bothered by it.

[His left hand has settled over the blastia again without him even realizing it.]

[manufactured]

[He's noticed that gesture every time it happens; he's seen enough notes to know why. But for the time being, he doesn't feel inclined to comment.]

I didn't care for it much the first time either. It took months to get accustomed to it; it troubled me a fair amount until then.

[scythegun]

Really?

[He certainly wasn't expecting that. It makes sense that Wesker would be troubled by it, but he just hadn't expected it from this version.]

...Well, that makes sense. I imagine most people would have a difficult time with something like that.

[manufactured]

...Loss of one's humanity is something that people aren't equipped to deal with in any sort of rational manner. Even if you're expecting it and know what you're doing when you initiate it, nothing can fully prepare you for the way it feels when you wake up again.

It feels like a violation, as though something vital has been stripped from you. You can become accustomed to it's absence, and you can come to appreciate the benefits you gain from what's left in its place. But it never does stop feeling wrong in some way.

[scythegun]

[He has a better idea of what it's like than most people would, but even then it isn't as though he can ever fully understand. He woke up again in a body that was still more or less human, after all.]

...I'm sorry. It... It really does sound terrible.

[Wesker really has been through so much...]

[manufactured]

[He shakes his head a bit.]

I knew what I was doing at the time; after a while I came to prefer living this way. The benefits far outweigh any drawbacks, and I'm capable of so much more than I was when I was still human.

But it was a rough adjustment period. Give your boyfriend a year or so and he'll have himself figured out.

[scythegun]

[Is it really true that he'll get used to it? This Wesker did, but that doesn't necessarily mean his boyfriend will.

...If his boyfriend's memories ever return, that is.]

I see. It's good that it doesn't weigh as heavily on you anymore.

[It... is good, right?]

[manufactured]

I've come to enjoy it, in its own way. It never stops feeling off, but the power has been more than worth it.

[scythegun]

It's good that you've found a way to enjoy it.

[He thinks so, at any rate. Sure, it sounds a bit crazy, but it's better than suffering all the time, isn't it?]

[manufactured]

The thing that bothered me most about it at the time is that it was more or less for nothing. I was attempting to do something at the time, and that plan ended up failing. But it still left me like this.

That was likely the most difficult part of it to handle.

[scythegun]

What was it you were trying to do?

[manufactured]

I was trying to collect data to sell to another organization. A group that could get me out of Umbrella.

I managed to leave regardless; in the end things worked out. But at the time that wasn't a guarantee, so I was trying to ensure my life would be spared in some way by offering data. One of my subordinates found out and ensured that none of that came to fruition.

[...So that's why he hates Chris.]

[scythegun]

I see.

[So that would be why you hated Chris so much...]

I'm sorry things didn't work out in the way you had hoped. At least you did manage to break free of Umbrella eventually.

[manufactured]

I managed to destroy it, though it took several years. It came under fire from the government for a series of disasters that they caused; one of my former supervisors tried to revive it in Russia, but I killed him before he could get very far.

I stole all of their data; I ensured that the corporation itself could never be brought back.

[scythegun]

It's good that you did. After everything they did, they certainly shouldn't be brought back.

[His grip tightens on the blastia for a moment before he realizes what he's doing and drops his hand.]

[manufactured]

I should say not.

[...]

...Are you all right?

[scythegun]

I'm okay.

[...]

It's a bit difficult to think about everything you've been through, sometimes. I can't help but worry about you, even though you seem to be doing just fine now.

[manufactured]

What are you worried about, exactly?

[He doesn't like having to ask; it feels like something he should already know. Perhaps it's something he does know in his other life. But it's out there anyway, because he doesn't understand; concern like this is new to him, and it's not something he can follow very well.]

[scythegun]

That this is all weighing too heavily on you even if you're not showing it. Part of it is also just because I worry so much in general, it's kind of hard to stop even when I know there's nothing to be concerned about.

[It's Complicated.]

[manufactured]

It doesn't weigh heavily on me, because I've already survived it. It's only in memories now; there's no sense in being dragged down by something I know I managed to get through.

I understand that our memories make us who we are. But they can't hurt us anymore, either.

[scythegun]

[That's a surprisingly nice way of looking at it, actually...]

I'm glad to hear that. I have a hard time imagining everything that you went through, but you're still able to keep moving despite all of that. It's... it's really nice to see.

[manufactured]

...It didn't seem so terrible at the time, for what it's worth.

[It was just how things were, really.]

[scythegun]

I'm glad it wasn't completely unbearable. Still... it really is unfortunate you had to go through all of that.