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[Is that really all...? He just wanted him to- ]

Of course, Jaeger. I won't do anything that's willingly walking to my death; you aren't going to just lose me like that.

No, I... I know. I can't imagine you doing something like that, it's just...

[...]

I don't want to lose you.

[He's gone very quiet with those words.]

[This is bothering him for a few reasons, really - some related to that realization regarding the incident years ago, some related to the fact that he just doesn't know what to do when someone gets emotional on him like this, because he just doesn't deal with emotional people.

He hates it when people touch him. But he's initiated it from time to time and it hasn't been the end of the world; he's just sparing with it. And while he doesn't exactly care about Jaeger, he understands that the man must be important to him now in some way, even if he doesn't remember it.

So for now he just...reaches out, and if he's allowed he'll let his hand settle against Jaeger's hair, stroking back softly because what the fuck else should he be doing right now.]

[Jaeger goes still when Wesker reaches out. He watches curiously, wondering where exactly this is going, but he certainly doesn't expect that hand to end up in his hair. This Wesker doesn't like physical contact, right? So why is he...

Has he remembered? No, no of course not. If he remembered, he'd say something about it. But this is...

It's unfair, that's what it is. Jaeger finds himself slowly relaxing despite how his mind is racing, and eventually he leans into it a bit. He still looks a bit startled, but this is... nice. It's really nice. He can almost forget about everything else and pretend for a moment that Wesker remembers and—

But Wesker doesn't remember, and that's causing his chest to feel very, very tight.]

...You used to do this all the time.

[The words are barely above a whisper; he's not even sure he spoke them aloud.]

Do you want me to stop...?

[He doesn't particularly care, but the gesture is intended to be calming; while it does seem to be doing that well enough, he can imagine where this would be distressing, and-

God, it feels like he's getting too invested in this. This is all just pretend, isn't it? Something fake that this man is using him for until he can have what he wants again; there's no more genuine emotion there than Wesker had for Excella in the end.

And besides, even if there were some sort of affection, it's not as though "but you were nice to me" has ever had any effect on him. The most it got Jill was three years of torture.

But he had kept Jill, in the end. Hadn't he?

He doesn't like that line of thought.

He should pull away and he knows it, but just the same he finds himself waiting for Jaeger's answer; he'll move if he's told to, otherwise...well. He'll see.]

[He really should tell Wesker to stop. They're similar, sure, but this isn't his boyfriend and blurring the lines even further like this can't be a good thing, can it? But even though he knows he should tell Wesker to stop...]

No. Please don't stop.

[There's something a bit too desperate in his voice, but right now he can't really bring himself to care. He's missed Wesker so badly and he's missed the physical contact like this and he's just been so alone... He doesn't know how to handle it. This definitely isn't the right way to go about it, but right now he can't think of anything he wants more.]

[He doesn't say anything at that; he just nods and shifts a bit, moving closer on the couch so the gesture is less awkward to carry out. It's still strange, the sort of thing he's obviously not used to doing for any prolonged period of time, but for now he tries to seem at least slightly affectionate with it, running his hand back and tousling the back of Jaeger's hair lightly between his fingers before moving forward to repeat the motion over again.

He hasn't missed the desperation in Jaeger's voice; he doesn't know what to do with it, if he's honest. It's something he'll remember for later, maybe; for now he doesn't comment, he just does as he's asked.]

[Good. He doesn't want to answer any questions or even think about any of this, honestly. He just wants to let himself enjoy it for a bit and he can deal with everything else later.

It is relaxing and it doesn't take long for him to shift a bit and lean into it properly, closing his eyes as he does so. It's a bit awkward, yes, but it's still something and he sort of needs it right now.

It's funny how Wesker still knows when he needs this, even though he doesn't remember it. Maybe that sort of thing just sticks with you.]

[He won't pull away from what he's doing, even if this is setting off something unpleasant in his head; this is too close, it's too much, he should stop encouraging it but just the same, there's something small and persistent in the back of his mind that he can't quite shake.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to have anything like this?

He won't say that he needs it, because he's never needed anything like this. But it's striking him oddly, making it far too difficult for him to convince himself to stop. He doesn't like the loss of control but he can't bring himself to break the contact; he doesn't know what he should think.

When was the last time...?]

...This is nice, isn't it.

[He hates it, but it's nice just the same.]

...It is.

[For a moment he leaves it at that, just enjoying it. Some part of him is aware that this is pretty strange for Wesker - well, this Wesker - but he doesn't want to question the motives behind it. He just wants things to be okay for a little while.

He's not really sure what prompts him to keep talking, but his tone is still relaxed and quiet, for once.]

I've always been fond of physical affection. It's something I can never get enough of.

...You tried to touch me when you first found me. Outside the city.

[He sounds a little blank, a little absent. Like he's preoccupied. Thinking.]

Do I normally like doing this with you?

You used to be very hesitant about it. You weren't used to it. But you grew accustomed to it; we used to do this sort of thing frequently.

[It's strangely nice talking about it, though it'd be nicer if Wesker remembered it.]

[He's quiet for a moment.]

You love the person I've become here, don't you.

I do. More than I've ever loved anyone else.

[The words are easy and his smile's honest. He can't see a reason why he shouldn't say it, after all.]

...I see.

[He'll pull away then, though the gesture isn't rough or abrupt; it's just very decisive, a sign that he's had enough for now, and he moves to stand up because honestly, he doesn't want to be here right now.

This is all fake, it's all fake- ]

You're free to stay here; as I said, I have no objections.

[Ah... That's unfortunate, but he probably should have expected exactly that. He doesn't move from where he's sitting though, just watching Wesker. He wants to say something about what just happened, but he can't find the words for it, so he eventually settles on something else.]

Thank you. I'll do that. It... really is nice of you to let me stay. I appreciate it.

Of course. You want to be here when I remember, after all.

[He'll take his leave, though, if he isn't stopped; he doesn't have much of a goal outside of "not here," but upstairs seems like as good a place as any to him right now.]

[He wants to say something, but Wesker's out of the room before he can think to stop him. Jaeger's glad to be able to spend the night here, but once again he has trouble falling asleep. It really does hurt to see Wesker upset, even if he doesn't understand exactly what caused it.

He does get to sleep eventually, and he leaves early as usual to head to the shop. Work is boring, but he spends the day reorganizing the shop to keep his mind occupied. He's definitely doing better now, at least.

Jaeger will return home around the same time he always does. If Wesker's car is here, he'll knock on the door instead of just letting himself in. Sure, he basically lives here again, but that doesn't mean he wants to startle Wesker.]

[...He'll let Jaeger in eventually, though not without a significant amount of heavily implied "why."]

I'm entirely aware that you have a key, you know.

[He seems a bit more put-together this evening than he did last night, though. At least there's that.]

Well, yes, but it seems a bit rude just to let myself in...!

[That's definitely a good sign. As long as they avoid hair-playing or the topic of love they'll probably be fine, right?]

Do you live here or not...?

[Really, Jaeger.

...But yes, let's avoid hair-playing and love, if at all possible. He's rather content not addressing anything that happened last night.]

Well, I suppose I do!

[He sounds very pleased with it, anyway.

He's also content not addressing last night, mostly because he isn't sure how to address it or if it'd even do any good to talk about it. So! For now he'll make his way to the study as usual, expecting Wesker to follow him.]

[...He'll follow, though he looks mildly perplexed at doing so; he'll wait in the doorway again to see what Jaeger does before deciding that he just has to ask.]

Do we normally spend all our time in here?

[He'll take his usual spot, of course! He looks up at the question, also looking mildly perplexed.]

Well, not all of our time... but a good amount of it, yes...

[Is. Is that weird.]

I see.

[...]

Is there a reason?

[He doesn't know if it's weird or not, but he's pretty sure it's weird.]

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