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LOCKED TO blazingspirit

[He doesn't remember much about his execution.

Oh sure, he remembers the lead-up to it; he remembers how the others looked on as he was led away and sure, he remembers Ishimaru's screams. He doesn't remember the death cage nor does he remember the sudden pain before it was all over.

It made waking up here incredibly confusing.

"Here" must be some sort of afterlife, but Mondo hasn't been able to figure out what it is, exactly. It's obviously not heaven (he's killed two people, he doesn't belong in heaven), but it doesn't seem to be hell either. Things are monotonous, yes, but they're not bad.

That leaves the option of purgatory, which Mondo is more or less fine with. It's better than spending an eternity suffering. It's probably not right for him to stay here instead of moving on to hell, but he doesn't know how or when that will happen. He's content to leave it at that for the time being.

This place is a rather large city - half of it is full of native English speakers, whom Mondo tends to avoid (his English is atrocious, after all), the other half is full of Japanese speakers. The city itself doesn't seem to be anywhere Mondo has ever seen, but it's large and spread out, with plenty to explore and do. Mondo hasn't seen everything there is to see though; he's only been here for a few weeks, and he knew if he wanted to make ends meet, he'd need a job first. Exploring could wait.

It's convenient that there's a carpenter's shop just down the road from the apartment Mondo woke up in. It might not technically be his, but he's been staying there until he can afford to properly rent it out. No one has complained so far, so he figures it's fine for the time being. The carpenter works him to the bone and he's never been so exhausted in his life when he comes home, but it's a good kind of exhaustion that means he's doing something productive. He can't make up for what he's done in the past, but he can help out here.

He's off work for the day, lounging around in what serves as the living room of his apartment, flipping through the newspaper. The dates here are all screwed up - it's almost winter here and he knows he'll have to put some money away toward buying proper winter clothes. That's only a minor concern though, because he has much bigger things to worry about.

In a city this large, it's possible that he's just missed seeing the others. He hasn't been looking very hard, admittedly. He's not sure what to say to them when he does see them. "Sorry" simply won't cut it for Fujisaki. He doesn't really want to see Kuwata, Enoshima, or Maizono either. He's sure it's only a matter of time before one of them finds him, or before someone else shows up here.

All he can do is hope that it won't be Ishimaru.]

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[He's silent for a moment, letting Ishida's words sink in. Ishida would give up his own existence for him? It's a terrifying thought and one he's not sure what to do with. As terrifying as it is though, it's also incredibly comforting to know that Ishida would do anything for him. He's a bit startled to find that he would do the same for Ishida, despite not knowing him very well. He's still a part of Ishimaru - or Ishimaru's a part of him, he's still not sure on that - and he would do anything for Ishimaru, so it makes sense.

Mondo finally rolls over to face Ishida. His expression is soft, pleased, and not one he usually wears.]

...Thanks. I wouldn't want you to disappear for my sake, but I appreciate the sentiment. I'd do anything for you too, kyoudai. And I'll always be here for you too! I guess I needed to hear that. Things'll be okay.

[For a moment he rather plainly doesn't know what to do with that; his eyes widen a little at that expression. He's never been looked at quite like that before; he smirks a bit at that, though he isn't able to keep eye contact very well.]

So you actually want me around, huh? Not that I'm calling you a liar or anything, it's just kind of a weird situation.

You're my brother, 'course I want to keep you around.

[He doesn't sound upset, but his tone isn't exactly teasing either. Mondo finally sits up and without really thinking about it, he wraps an arm around Ishida's waist, resting his head on his friend's shoulder.]

I don't think it's something I'll just get over, but I've still got you. It'll be painful for awhile, but I think I'll be okay.

[Ishida shifts a little, though he isn't trying to get away from him; he's just not too sure what to do with this sort of thing. Hugging or comforting is one thing; casually interacting with this much touch is...weird.

Good-weird, though. Definitely good-weird.

He links his hands together around his legs where they're still drawn up against his chest, but he rests his head up against Mondo's, relaxing a bit as he does so.]

You'll always have me. That's a fuckin' promise. And as long as I have you I'll be all right.

Yeah, same goes for me. As long as I've got you, I think I'll be fine.

[He's relieved to hear that, and for some reason, even more relieved to say it. He fully believes that everything will be okay as long as he has Ishida here with him, even if Ishida does remind him of Ishimaru sometimes. He just has to think of them as two separate people and everything will be okay eventually.]

Thanks. I dunno what I'd do without you. Other than be really fucking lonely.

[He laughs at that, but the sound is self-deprecating rather than humorous.]

[Ishida just nudges him a little for that.]

I don't know what the hell you're supposed to do with me, either, but you won't have to be lonely again, okay?

I'm glad to hear it!

[One of his greatest fears is being left alone; at least with Ishida he won't have to worry about that.]

And we'll figure something out, I'm sure! I'm never gonna leave you though, so you don't have to worry about that, no matter how rough things get!

[Not that he sees them getting very rough at all. Mondo hugs Ishida tighter, very pleased with what his friend has said.]

[He just laughs a bit at that, cuddling into that hug Mondo's giving him.]

Ah, come on! You're getting all sentimental on me.

[He's clearly teasing, though he's quick to calm down a bit when he speaks next, the words leaving him somewhat awkwardly.]

But if we're gonna be getting sentimental like that, then I...I'm not gonna let anything happen to you here, not if I can help it. You're...you're really fuckin' important to me and I want you to be happy, all right?!

You... you don't have to do that. I can look out for myself.

[The protest is weak though, and it's really only because he can't quite accept just how good Ishida is being to him. After everything that happened, Ishida should want nothing to do with him, right? Instead he wants just the opposite, and it's enough to make Mondo ache for some reason he can't pinpoint. Maybe it's because he hasn't had anyone care about him like this since Daiya. Maybe it's because he's needed something like this for a long time now.]

But... I do appreciate it. I'm gonna do my best to look out for you too, okay? Nothing'll happen to you while I'm here.

[His grip tightens on Ishida again and he leans into that nuzzling.]

Hey, there's a difference between saying that I'm gonna look out for you and thinking you can't look out for yourself, you know!

[He untangles himself a bit then, letting himself relax into a position that's a bit more comfortable and bringing one of his hands up to mess with Mondo's hair again, tousling it a bit.]

I know you can look out for yourself. But I've got your back, okay? Always!

Yeah. Always.

[He leans into that touch, grinning.]

I really appreciate it. It's good to have someone who can watch my back. Not that I think I'll need it here, but y'know. Just in case.

Of course I'm gonna do that for you - you're my brother.

[Like it's the most obvious thing in the world.]

I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me, y'know? But I mean it - I'll do whatever I can.

[So much hair-playing, Mondo. So much.]

[Well the hair-playing is going to get some soft, pleased noises out of him and he'll just cuddle into that a bit, thanks!]

Yeah, I know. It's difficult to express just how important you are to me too. I think we'll be fine, kyoudai.

[...]

I guess we should probably go to bed though. You've got interviews tomorrow and I've got work.

[Look how fast he's actually moving to go to sleep.]

Probably, yeah.

[...we are moving so quickly.]

But you're sure you're gonna be okay? This whole thing's kind of a wreck to sort through.

Yeah, it really fucking is. But I think I'll be fine. I mean, it's gonna take awhile for me to be okay with it, but I've still got you. I'll be just fine.

All right.

[He settles against Mondo again, nuzzling him a bit.]

I can't fuckin' lose you again.

[There's nothing pointed in the statement, nor is he really looking for an answer; it's a straightforward statement, said as easily as he would anything else he knows for a fact.]

You won't. Fuck, you won't lose me again. Nothing's gonna separate us.

[He's quick to return that nuzzling, reaching up after a moment to mess with Ishida's hair. He knows how badly his death hurt Ishimaru, but it must have hurt Ishida a good deal too. At least here they won't have to worry about any of that.]

[That hair-playing gets a soft, clearly pleased noise out of him, and Ishida leans up against Mondo a bit more, most of the tension he usually carries having left him for the time being.]

The way we're going, I don't think anything could.

Yeah, it'd have to be something really fucking bad, but I can't think of anything that'd make me want to leave you. 'Sides, I wouldn't be a very good brother if I fucking ditched you, now would I?

[It's good to see Ishida so relaxed and it puts Mondo at ease. He continues playing with his friend's hair, occasionally tugging lightly on it, just to tease him.]

[The tugging gets a bit of an irritated noise out of him, but he isn't truly discontent; if anything, he's more comfortable than he can really remember ever having been.

It's not the best position for spending the entire night in, but for the time being he'd be more than capable of falling asleep here if he's allowed.]

[Things were good for awhile. Mondo had Ishida and he genuinely felt like things were looking up.

But as it always goes with him, things came crashing down.

He doesn't know what triggered it, all he knows is that he was perfectly fine one moment, working with the boss on a table, and the next he suddenly couldn't focus on anything and was bombarded by feelings of worthlessness. Perhaps it had been something that was said, but he can't recall any of the conversations they held for the life of him. Regardless, he slipped out of work early and returned home to flop in bed and try not to cry.

He should at least find Fujisaki and apologize to him. That might help a bit, but he doesn't even know where to begin looking. Instead of attempting that, he just remains in bed, picking at the covers idly. No, it's not the best way to deal with this sudden bout of depression (if that's what this even is), but he just doesn't want to do anything.

He can pity himself until Ishida gets home, he supposes. Then he'll have to pull himself together and pretend nothing's wrong.]

[It's been a pretty good month, all things considered.

Ishida had managed to pay Mondo back for the clothes at the start, having been hired by that bookshop containing that ridiculously cute college girl; he's mostly just stocking and organizing shit, but he likes it because it's something to focus on that isn't the customers, he has a reason to ignore them if he's busy and if he's not he can recommend things for them that aren't utter shit. He finds out soon enough that most people have no idea what they're looking for, though; he gets frustrated when they ask him things like "What do you like?" while giving him no indication of what they like, and Cute College Girl has to save him on more than one occasion. He's had realizations about her, too, like how she can't possibly be attending college and working the same long shifts Ishida is; he tries not to wonder if she's lying to him because she was a student before she came here - if she's here now because she's dead, too.

He doesn't ask her about it, because it'll just depress him to find out and it'll probably depress her too, if that's the case; she's generally a nice girl. Kind of like Asahina, if Asahina were smarter (and admittedly pitifully flat-chested).

So Ishida is fine with his work, and he's glad to have Mondo back; as far as he knows everything is going well, and he doesn't bother to announce his presence when he returns home - he'd started work early that day, so he fully expects to be home well before Mondo is. He's not sure what to do with it when he makes his way upstairs and finds out that that's...well, not the case.]

...Hell are you doing home?

[Mondo pushes himself upright and forces a grin. He's trying his best to appear casual, but it's failing pretty spectacularly.]

I wasn't feeling good, that's all. It's mostly passed.

[It hasn't passed at all, but he doesn't want to worry Ishida with this. Ishida said not to bring it up, after all. It's kind of irritating that he can't talk about it, but at the same time, what would he even say? He doesn't deserve a second chance after what happened? Hell, he didn't deserve to live past his brother? He doesn't deserve to have a friend like Ishida?

The thoughts are just making him feel worse and his smile falters a bit.]

Nothing to worry about.

[That'll just get you a sharp look for your effort, Mondo; clearly, that ain't gonna fly.]

Bullshit, it's not - since when do you come home over something that's "nothing to worry about"?

Nothing for you to worry about, that better?

[He knows he's snapping when he shouldn't be, but he can't really help himself.]

LOCKED TO blazingspirit

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