pokebox | locked to manufactured

[As expected, spending the night alone is terrible.

Jaeger doesn't get much sleep. He spends the majority of the night wide awake in bed, trying to get comfortable and unable to lull himself to sleep. As much as he'd like to ignore everything, he can't manage it. What if Wesker isn't okay? What if Wesker remembers while Jaeger's gone and finds himself alone?

What if Wesker never remembers?

He gets up at the usual time and checks his phone, though he's not surprised that he doesn't have any messages. It's not like Wesker really needs to rely on him. He's a smart man, he'll figure things out on his own. Still, he's sort of disappointed, but he prepares for work anyway.

He's just as cheerful as always at work, but he finds himself checking his phone a lot more often than he normally does. Still nothing, but he's not really expecting anything. Is he? Maybe he is. It doesn't really matter. It feels like the day takes way longer then usual, and he ends up closing up the shop a bit earlier than usual so he can head home.

...Well, to Wesker's house.

He doesn't let himself in, though. He texted Wesker before he left, but he knocks on the door anyway and waits. He's trying to keep his expression as carefree as usual, but he's antsy anyway. He's missed Wesker, and even though this Wesker doesn't remember him, it'll be nice to see him anyway.]

[The door will open after a few moments; he's been expecting Jaeger since the text, after all, and he'll step back to allow him in easily enough, though the gesture is stiff and unpracticed.]

Jaeger.

[It's all he really offers as greeting before turning and moving further back into the house; he was in the study when Jaeger texted him, so returning there is simple enough - especially given that that was where Jaeger had gone instinctively when he'd brought him back here, as opposed to anywhere else in the house.

He doesn't move to sit on the couch, though; rather, he returns to the desk near the wall, where he'd been going through things before Jaeger had come over.

He assumes you'll come in there with him as well.]

Good evening, Albert.

[He'll follow; the study is one of the places he feels most comfortable here, after all, so he certainly has no problem with that. He's used to Wesker sitting beside him, but this isn't too weird. He sort of wants to ask what Wesker's looking for, or if he's found anything interesting, but it feels almost wrong to ask. Instead he settles on something else.]

How was your day?

Nothing to complain about.

[He keeps paging through things for a moment while he considers.]

I found out that apparently I'm employed; however, I've informed them that whatever I've come down with, it's highly contagious and so I won't be present for a few days.

I've also discovered that the dogs strongly dislike letting me out of bed in the morning.

[So there's. That?]

And your day...? I assume it found you well?

Oh, I should have mentioned that yesterday... I suppose it slipped my mind. Sorry about that!

[Whoops. At least you've got time to yourself now.

As for the mention of the dogs, it gets a small smile from him, at least before he starts thinking about how the dogs get his side of the bed now. How long will it be before Wesker remembers...?]

Ah, it was fine! Work was a bit on the slow side, but I'm used to days like that.

[He isn't sure how he feels about the five giant dogs all over the bed, but here we are.]

...I've mostly been trying to work out what sort of person I've been here. It's been interesting.

Oh? What have you figured out so far?

[Well, maybe it's not polite to ask, but he is curious...]

...I found things I wasn't expecting to see again. Photographs and letters that I haven't seen in years.

[He doesn't sound like he's having trouble keeping his voice even; he's just talking about it as easily as one would discuss the weather.

In all blunt honesty, he isn't sure what he thinks of it.]

I don't know why I considered them worth keeping here.

[Ah, he hadn't really thought about those...]

Retrospec sent them to you. I know I haven't thrown out anything Retrospec's sent me, so I imagine it's the same sort of thing.

There isn't any sentimental value attached to them, nor are they practical to keep. But it was interesting finding them again, I suppose.

[...]

The rest of the physical things I could find were interesting but useless; I kept rather thorough notes on everything that was happening to me. I didn't understand the virus at all back in January...

[He pauses for a moment before continuing.]

Most of the worthwhile things were in electronic conversation - discussions over the network and such. I'm still not sure what to make of those.

[...Well, he really wasted no time in invading his own privacy...]

It certainly sounds like you've been busy!

[He's not sure why, but it unnerves him. It's one thing for Wesker to study his past life, but for this version to study his life... well, it's strange and it's making Jaeger feel antsy.]

I might be able to answer any questions you have.

[He's efficient like that.]

I seem reluctant to carry out my own life's work. To take the place that I've rightfully earned and utilize the rights that are mine.

Do you know what I'm referring to?

[...Why would you do this to him. He has been nothing but as kind and supportive as he can be and you spring this bullshit on him.

Of course he knows what Wesker's talking about, and his expression probably shows it before he glances away. He's tense, and suddenly he'd rather be anywhere else in the world.]

...I think so.

[The words are quiet; tight in a way they usual aren't.]

It upsets you.

[It isn't a question.]

[He could try to deny it, and maybe Wesker would even let him get away with it. But what good would that do?]

...It does.

[His left hand comes up to touch the blastia beneath his clothes. He can't find anything else to say, because admitting that it terrifies him seems like a bad idea.]

Talk to me.

[It isn't the quiet encouragement usually implied by those three words, imploring Jaeger to open up about whatever is troubling him.

When he says it now, it sounds almost like a challenge.]

I want to hear your thoughts on the matter; from the sound of it, you have several.

[It sounds wrong to hear those three words spoken like that. It's almost like Wesker's trying to get a rise out of him, trying to pick a fight. But that's not it, right? What could he possibly gain from something like that?

Some part of Jaeger really wants to leave; he doubts Wesker would stop him. But that's what he always does, he runs away. He doesn't want to do that to Wesker, even if Wesker doesn't remember. Even if Wesker's willing to say things like this to him.

It's not hurting him, at least.]

...I do. To be honest, it worries me that you'd think like that in the first place, that you'd want to judge all of humanity. I don't understand what you could get out of something like that.

[Besides the twisted satisfaction of watching so many people die, that is.]

It's doing humanity a service that they're unwilling to do for themselves.

[The response is prompt, but it isn't heated; if anything, it's very, very cold.]

This isn't something I'm doing for cruelty's sake. If that were the case, then I could just allow humans to continue on their path of assured abuse and destruction of one another. I would have no need to involve myself. The world is already well on the path to destruction.

The purpose of judgement isn't to be cruel. It isn't sadism. And it isn't a desire to end the world. Quite the opposite - it's the only way to save it.

[That makes his skin crawl. Hearing those words coming out of his boyfriend's mouth in such a cold tone... It's terrifying. How could someone ever get to the point where they genuinely believe that killing almost everyone is for the good of the world?

It takes him a long time to find a response.]

...I see. I'm sure it goes without saying that I don't agree with that. Humans can be unbelievably cruel and terrible, but I don't believe that the only path to our salvation is through killing off so many.

[His voice is thankfully not wavering any, but he can't look at Wesker. His grip tightens on the blastia.]

It's not a sacrifice that most are willing to make. Even now, in the life I currently lead with you, I seem to fear it.

But this is the only way to ensure that humanity doesn't destroy itself - the human race requires judgement to survive. Once that time has passed, a new era of evolution will heal the world from where it's been stagnating in its own overpopulated mass.

[...]

It troubles me that I don't seem to understand that anymore. But eventually things will be as they should again. I'm sure of it.

[He sincerely hopes that his Wesker never understands this. How can he be so calm about this? How can he spout off such insanity like it makes any sense?

Jaeger forces his hand down and busies himself with examining his sleeves. It gives him something to do, though it doesn't hide how his hands are shaking.]

...We'll see how things go.

[Some part of him wants to fight against Wesker's words - surely his Wesker would never agree with this, he'd never understand or want to pursue it - but it's best to play it safe. No, that's not exactly right. He can convince himself he's doing it because he doesn't want to rile this Wesker up, but the reality is that he's too afraid to speak up. He has no idea how to handle this situation or this version of Wesker.]

If I truly am as fond of you as I seem to be, I'm sure I'll want you with me.

[It's something he'd let Excella believe, too; he has no problem saying it again.]

When everything ends and the new world is created, you'll be with me. You'll understand then.

[For a long moment, Jaeger just stares. He doesn't feel anything and it's hard to put any sort of coherent thought together with the warning bells blaring in his head.

He wants to leave so badly, he wants to run away from this conversation and pretend it never happened, so maybe he can go back to believing that this Wesker's just weird in ways that are vastly different from the Wesker he knows and loves. He wants to pretend that everything's fine, that his boyfriend isn't the reincarnation of a man who truly believed he was saving the world by wiping out almost all of humanity. He wants to wipe this conversation from his memory so he never has to hear those words ever again, because nothing has ever scared him more.

But he finds himself rooted to the spot, his left hand once again settling on the blastia as though to make sure it's still functioning.]

...I don't think I'll ever understand.

[The words are distant; they sound like they're coming from someone else. They're surprisingly steady though, despite the panic slowly settling in.]

I don't want to understand. I can never agree with that way of thinking.

Again, it's not something most people are willing to agree with. But you'll see it one day. What I'm trying to do.

I know you'll understand then.

[He doesn't usually insist like this; the last person he tried with was Chris, and even then, it hadn't been all that important in the end anyway - he'd been convinced Chris would be dead before his new world even came to fruition. But he'd said it anyway, he'd insisted that Chris would understand, that everything would make perfect sense if he only saw it-

It's something he feels the need to insist on for Jaeger as well, even if he can't say for sure why it's so important. It simply is.]

[Jaeger's quiet at that. He still feels like he's in shock. The panic is setting in, but it still feels distant somehow, like this is all happening to someone else and he's merely watching it. In some ways it makes it easier, but he knows he should be having more of a reaction to it.

He's not ever going to understand, he's sure of that. But it seems strange that Wesker would insist on it. Did he do this with everyone? No, he probably wouldn't care about most people. So why...?

Thinking about it is just going to make things worse once he gets over the shock. So he'll ignore it, he'll try to focus on something else anything else.]

...I need to go. I think I left something behind at the shop.

[The words are still almost eerily calm considering how out of it he feels. He moves to stand and it's entirely mechanical, like his body's acting completely separate from his mind. Maybe that's for the best.

Some part of him still doesn't want to leave Wesker, but that small part is being drowned out by the warning bells going off in his head.]

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