LOCKED TO blazingspirit

[diamondo]

[He doesn't remember much about his execution.

Oh sure, he remembers the lead-up to it; he remembers how the others looked on as he was led away and sure, he remembers Ishimaru's screams. He doesn't remember the death cage nor does he remember the sudden pain before it was all over.

It made waking up here incredibly confusing.

"Here" must be some sort of afterlife, but Mondo hasn't been able to figure out what it is, exactly. It's obviously not heaven (he's killed two people, he doesn't belong in heaven), but it doesn't seem to be hell either. Things are monotonous, yes, but they're not bad.

That leaves the option of purgatory, which Mondo is more or less fine with. It's better than spending an eternity suffering. It's probably not right for him to stay here instead of moving on to hell, but he doesn't know how or when that will happen. He's content to leave it at that for the time being.

This place is a rather large city - half of it is full of native English speakers, whom Mondo tends to avoid (his English is atrocious, after all), the other half is full of Japanese speakers. The city itself doesn't seem to be anywhere Mondo has ever seen, but it's large and spread out, with plenty to explore and do. Mondo hasn't seen everything there is to see though; he's only been here for a few weeks, and he knew if he wanted to make ends meet, he'd need a job first. Exploring could wait.

It's convenient that there's a carpenter's shop just down the road from the apartment Mondo woke up in. It might not technically be his, but he's been staying there until he can afford to properly rent it out. No one has complained so far, so he figures it's fine for the time being. The carpenter works him to the bone and he's never been so exhausted in his life when he comes home, but it's a good kind of exhaustion that means he's doing something productive. He can't make up for what he's done in the past, but he can help out here.

He's off work for the day, lounging around in what serves as the living room of his apartment, flipping through the newspaper. The dates here are all screwed up - it's almost winter here and he knows he'll have to put some money away toward buying proper winter clothes. That's only a minor concern though, because he has much bigger things to worry about.

In a city this large, it's possible that he's just missed seeing the others. He hasn't been looking very hard, admittedly. He's not sure what to say to them when he does see them. "Sorry" simply won't cut it for Fujisaki. He doesn't really want to see Kuwata, Enoshima, or Maizono either. He's sure it's only a matter of time before one of them finds him, or before someone else shows up here.

All he can do is hope that it won't be Ishimaru.]

Comments

[diamondo]

Yeah, exactly! I like being able to just... leave whenever I want, y'know? I hate being trapped anywhere, even if it's just in the neighborhood. I like knowing that I can ditch everything and just... go. 'Course it'll take awhile to save up enough for a bike, but it's at least something to work towards!

[And just like that he's relaxed again, as though the previous conversation never happened. It's easier to brush things off than to deal with them, so that's what he'll do!]

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida pauses, taking all that in for perhaps a second too long before he reacts; when he finally does, however, it's clear that that's calmed him down a good amount, and he reaches out to shove Mondo lightly, the gesture playful.]

Well, I'm definitely paying you back for earlier then, asshole!

[diamondo]

Good! I mean, I don't have much saved up so far, but every little bit helps!

[He'll just lightly return that shove then, grinning. At least things seem to have settled down again?]

[blazingspirit]

[He laughs at that, nudging Mondo a bit before settling again; at least he's a lot more relaxed than before.

...that said, man, either we're going to need to just come up with a list of shit to talk about or you're going to have to get used to the quiet once in a while.]

[diamondo]

[Shit, no, not the silence!! Mondo tries to find something to say, which really just results in him looking frustrated. In some ways, talking to Ishimaru was easier. Sure, Ishimaru's social skills weren't much better than Ishida's, but Ishimaru at least didn't let the conversation end so quickly!

It takes him a few minutes to actually come up with something to say, and when he finally speaks he still sounds kind of frustrated.]

...Doesn't seem to be much this way, huh?

[It's mostly a residential area, so no, there really doesn't seem to be much here.]

[blazingspirit]

...Not really, no.

[He tips his head a little.]

You okay? You sound...kinda pissed off or something.

[diamondo]

I just... Fuck, I dunno, I can't find anything to talk about.

[blazingspirit]

[Hmmm...

...Oh! Well, he said the quiet just made it feel like there was something wrong, right?]

...You know I'm not mad, right?

[Is that any better? He kind of can't tell.]

[diamondo]

I'm glad to hear that.

[He is! It's kind of difficult to tell with Ishida...]

I guess I just have a hard time reading the silence, y'know? I mean, shit, I've always been around people and there was always someone talking, so when there was silence, that was never a good sign. Daiya used to talk a lot too, y'know. Like, he'd never shut up. I guess that runs in the family, huh?

[He laughs, but it's a bit of an awkward sound.]

[blazingspirit]

It's not a bad thing; I just don't always have shit to say to people, you know? Guess it comes from being alone for so long.

[Ishida hesitates after that's out there, though, clearly debating on whether he should say anything else; he presses onward after a moment, though he's not looking at Mondo anymore, focusing instead on the street in front of them.]

The shit that happened with Toranosuke...the political shit? It happened when Ishimaru was too young to really get it, but old enough to get that something had happened. But even though they'd been fucked over by the guy, they took him in, because that's what family does.

Ishimaru'd always really looked up to the guy. Wanted to be just like him when he was little, you know? But Toranosuke's personality changed a lot, after everything went down...and Ishimaru didn't really understand why the guy he'd fuckin' idolized wouldn't speak to him anymore. Why he barely even acknowledged him.

Ishimaru tried to do what he could for him, though. Stayed with him, even though he claimed he hated him. After a few years like that, I guess words didn't matter so much anymore.

[diamondo]

[Mondo is silent while Ishida speaks, and even afterwards he can't find anything to say right away. He's not sure what to say in response to that.]

Shit, I'm sorry. That must've been really rough. That must've really hurt him. He didn't think he'd done anything wrong, did he?

[blazingspirit]

He was a fuckin' kid, he didn't get it. Of course he thought he did something wrong.

[...]

At least until he was old enough to understand it a bit better; then he was just pissed off.

[diamondo]

Shit. I'm sorry to hear that. He mentioned his grandfather, but I didn't know about that.

[Mondo doesn't look at Ishida; it's easier to talk about Ishimaru if he's not looking at him.]

I can get why he'd be pissed off though. The guy didn't have to take it out on a kid. But what about you? Do you hate him?

[blazingspirit]

[He looks at Mondo a bit strangely for that.]

I don't get to decide whether I do or not - it didn't happen to me, you know?

[diamondo]

[Mondo bites the inside of his lip while he thinks. It seems like whatever he says will be wrong and will anger Ishida.]

But you're part of him. Or he's part of you. Something like that.

[blazingspirit]

...Well, yeah.

[For what it's worth, though, he doesn't seem mad; he's just taking a moment to think it over.]

I remember what's happened to him. To...us, I guess. The memories don't really feel like mine, though.

[...mnnnngh. That isn't...quite what he wanted - ]

It's the difference between someone saying something to you, and overhearing them saying it to someone else. You have the same information, but it feels completely different. It's like that - like watching it from a distance, like it's happening to someone else.

[diamondo]

[That doesn't make sense though. How can it be so entirely different when this is a part of Ishimaru's personality? Mondo has never pretended to understand psychology, and this goes so far beyond what little he knows that he can't help but be baffled by it. He's pretty sure he's staring, so he redirects his gaze to the road in front of them instead. What does he even say to something like that?]

Yeah, I guess I get it. It's still kinda weird, y'know? I mean, you guys aren't totally different people, right?

[blazingspirit]

We aren't the same person, either.

[Said as though this explains everything.]

[diamondo]

[Ishida, he is this close to throwing his hands in the air and giving up entirely.]

But you came into being because of him! You have his memories! Fuck, some of the things you do are practically the same as what he does!

[blazingspirit]

[WELL, WITH SHIT LIKE THAT YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE.]

What the fuck do you want me to say, kyoudai?! I don't even know what you're getting at - I don't have a better explanation, so what do you want from me?!

[diamondo]

[For a moment he seriously considers saying that he wants Ishida to go back to being Ishimaru. He doesn't believe that they're separate people; he believes that Ishida is some kind of strange coping mechanism or something. Even if that's all he is, saying something like that would be cruel, wouldn't it?]

Shit, I don't know. I just can't wrap my head around this, alright? I don't get it.

[blazingspirit]

And I'm trying to explain it to you - what don't you understand?!

[He's vaguely aware that they're probably causing some sort of scene; he can't really bring himself to care much.]

[diamondo]

The entire fucking thing! I don't get how he could just... I don't know, turn into you!! The entire thing is fucking confusing as hell!

[blazingspirit]

Where. Do you want me. To start?!

[IS THAT BETTER, GODDAMN.]

[diamondo]

You can skip over the weird spiritual possession thing! I just wanna know how you can call yourself a different person when you're--!!

[Whoaaaaa backing up, backing up!! That's probably not a good line of thought to pursue!]

Never mind. Just tell me how you set your eyes on fire!!