LOCKED TO blazingspirit

[diamondo]

[He doesn't remember much about his execution.

Oh sure, he remembers the lead-up to it; he remembers how the others looked on as he was led away and sure, he remembers Ishimaru's screams. He doesn't remember the death cage nor does he remember the sudden pain before it was all over.

It made waking up here incredibly confusing.

"Here" must be some sort of afterlife, but Mondo hasn't been able to figure out what it is, exactly. It's obviously not heaven (he's killed two people, he doesn't belong in heaven), but it doesn't seem to be hell either. Things are monotonous, yes, but they're not bad.

That leaves the option of purgatory, which Mondo is more or less fine with. It's better than spending an eternity suffering. It's probably not right for him to stay here instead of moving on to hell, but he doesn't know how or when that will happen. He's content to leave it at that for the time being.

This place is a rather large city - half of it is full of native English speakers, whom Mondo tends to avoid (his English is atrocious, after all), the other half is full of Japanese speakers. The city itself doesn't seem to be anywhere Mondo has ever seen, but it's large and spread out, with plenty to explore and do. Mondo hasn't seen everything there is to see though; he's only been here for a few weeks, and he knew if he wanted to make ends meet, he'd need a job first. Exploring could wait.

It's convenient that there's a carpenter's shop just down the road from the apartment Mondo woke up in. It might not technically be his, but he's been staying there until he can afford to properly rent it out. No one has complained so far, so he figures it's fine for the time being. The carpenter works him to the bone and he's never been so exhausted in his life when he comes home, but it's a good kind of exhaustion that means he's doing something productive. He can't make up for what he's done in the past, but he can help out here.

He's off work for the day, lounging around in what serves as the living room of his apartment, flipping through the newspaper. The dates here are all screwed up - it's almost winter here and he knows he'll have to put some money away toward buying proper winter clothes. That's only a minor concern though, because he has much bigger things to worry about.

In a city this large, it's possible that he's just missed seeing the others. He hasn't been looking very hard, admittedly. He's not sure what to say to them when he does see them. "Sorry" simply won't cut it for Fujisaki. He doesn't really want to see Kuwata, Enoshima, or Maizono either. He's sure it's only a matter of time before one of them finds him, or before someone else shows up here.

All he can do is hope that it won't be Ishimaru.]

Comments

[diamondo]

[...............jesus christ]

I appreciate it, but I got what I deserved, kyoudai.

[He's content to leave it at that and not elaborate on it any. He still hasn't come to terms with what happened.]

[blazingspirit]

Like hell you did!

[He can hear himself getting louder; he can't really bring himself to tone it down any, and before he can really register what he's doing he's shoved away from the couch entirely, jumping easily and abruptly to his feet.]

Don't say shit like that - I don't want to hear you talking like that again!!

[diamondo]

Yeah? And what would you have had me do, huh? Get away with murder?

[He comes down hard on that last word and immediately looks away. Mondo is actually managing to control his voice for once, but it's clear that this isn't something he really wants to discuss.]

I killed that kid. What the hell other punishment would you give me, huh?

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida flinches hard at that, but he isn't backing down, either; if anything, he squares off, determined.]

You aren't a fucking murderer - you wouldn't have done any of that shit if it weren't for Monobear fucking with you!

[diamondo]

Doesn't matter whether I would've or not, the fact is I did!

[His voice does get louder at that, but he doesn't make a move to stand. Instead he clenches his knees tightly and continues to glare at the ground.]

'Sides, you can't tell me I wouldn't have killed anyone outside of the school 'cause I did! My brother's-- my brother's dead because of me! So don't fucking say shit like that!!

I finally got what I deserved. I should've died in his place years ago.

[He's shaking now, but he's not aware of it. Mondo wasn't aware of how badly all this was weighing on him until now.]

[blazingspirit]

[Tears are quick to spring to his eyes at that, hot and angry, but that doesn't seem to deter him from moving any; he lashes out, with no warning whatsoever, to strike Mondo across the face.

He isn't punching him, as he can't seem to make himself, but rather he's hitting him backhanded; just the same, the strike is quick and hard, the sort of thing Ishimaru never would have considered doing even on a bad day.]

Don't you ever say that again, do you fucking understand?!

[He takes a swipe at his eyes, as though trying to stop the tears from falling; it doesn't really do much, which only serves to frustrate him further.]

Don't say shit like that - you don't deserve it, and I...I don't...

[He twitches sharply, as though he's considering hitting him again, but he forces himself to turn away; he doesn't want to leave his brother - not now, not ever - but he doesn't want to stay, either, and he's strongly considering storming out.]

[diamondo]

[Mondo doesn't move after he's hit. It stings, and that pain is a good thing. It's a reminder that he's alive here, that he has a second chance. He's not going to fuck it up, not like he did back home.

It takes him a moment to realize that Ishida is crying and when Ishida turns away Mondo realizes that the worst thing that could possibly happen at this moment would be for Ishida to walk out that door. It doesn't matter that they've promised to stick together; what matters is that Ishida could very easily leave right now and Mondo would be alone again.]

Don't go.

[He doesn't move though, instead returning to sitting upright on the couch, hands still clamped on his knees.]

Please. I'm sorry, it's just... it's a lot to take in. I'm still... working through all this, y'know? I didn't mean to upset you.

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida doesn't turn around, but at the very least he stops; he can't face Mondo, not yet, especially since he's still crying and can't seem to stop himself.

It takes him a moment to reply, because he doesn't want his voice to break or crack in the middle of it; he waits until he has a bit more control than that, though his words are still shaking a bit, laced through with a dark, cold sound that's easily betraying just how fucking furious he is.]

I fucking mean it when I say I don't want to hear you say things like that. Don't do it again.

[diamondo]

I'll try. I can't guarantee anything, alright?

[That's the most he can offer. It's the sort of thing he's sure will come up again, but for the time being he doesn't want to acknowledge it. He just doesn't want Ishida to leave. He doesn't think he can handle losing another brother, even temporarily. He doubts Ishida would leave for good, since Mondo's death is what caused Ishida to come into being in the first place, but that thought is a brief one and does nothing to comfort him. He's so tired of being alone.]

I'll do my best.

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida closes his eyes for a moment, trying to force his breathing to settle, to make himself calm down; it doesn't work entirely, but it works well enough, and even though his face is still streaked with tears he turns to rejoin Mondo on the couch, sitting next to him and pulling him close again.]

...Sorry. About...all that. I'm sorry.

[diamondo]

[That almost makes Mondo break. Ishida still wants to be around him even after all this. Ishida isn't mad at him for all of this. Hell, Ishida doesn't think he deserved death after what he did. He can't think of anyone else that would care this much about him outside of his older brother.

He latches on immediately, gripping Ishida tightly. He's about three seconds from crying, both with relief that Ishida hasn't left and all the pain he's been putting off dealing with for the past two weeks.

He can't manage words right away, but when he does they're repetitive and muffled into Ishida's shoulder.]

Th-Thank you. Thank you. I'm... shit, I'm so sorry.

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida returns that grip, tight and fierce, and he nuzzles up against Mondo immediately once that apology's out there.]

It's okay. It's...it's okay.

[More nuzzling, okay.]

I'm not going to hit you like that again, all right? And I'm not going to fucking go anywhere. I'm sorry.

[diamondo]

[It takes him a moment, but that nuzzling is returned.]

It's... it's okay. I'm not mad. I just... I can't lose you. I can't.

[It's selfish. It's horribly selfish. What if Ishida needs some time alone? Some people need shit like that. He's never been one of them and he doesn't really understand it, but what if he's just keeping Ishida here when he needs to get some space? Why is he so weak? He should be able to handle being on his own.]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I shouldn't be this fucking weak.

[blazingspirit]

...N-No, no, don't do that. Come on.

[His grip tightens momentarily, squeezing him a bit before loosening up again.]

Whether you think it's weak or not, you can talk to me. I...I want you to talk to me; forget what I said, okay? If you need to talk about it, you can.

[diamondo]

N-No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I've just missed you, that's all.

[Mondo nuzzles against him, like that will help prove his point.]

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida returns the gesture, though he does pull away after a moment. Not enough to break contact entirely, but just putting a bit of space inbetween them.]

...No, you haven't.

[Again, there's nothing self-pitying in it; just a statement.]

You...haven't missed me. Right?

I get that, kyoudai. It's okay.

[diamondo]

[Mondo flinches sharply at that. He still can't meet Ishida's eyes and immediately moves to hide behind his hair.]

I... sorry. You're right but... but it's okay. It's alright.

[Ishida is still Ishimaru in some ways, after all.]

[blazingspirit]

...why are you sorry?

[Ishida reaches up a bit, laying a hand firmly on Mondo's shoulder.]

It's okay, kyoudai, I'm not mad or anything! Everything's going to be fine. Maybe not now, but someday. I promise.

[diamondo]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We'll work things out together. Everything'll be just fine.

[He grins at that, clearly pleased by Ishida's words. It's not like things can get worse, right?]

[blazingspirit]

[That seems to make him happy, at least, and he's quick to return that grin; he squeezes Mondo's shoulder before letting go.]

I'm always gonna be here for you, okay?

[diamondo]

I'm glad to hear it! I'll always be here for you too!

[He motions for Ishida to follow him, heading upstairs.]

C'mon, it's late and we could use some sleep. I'll let you borrow some of my clothes tonight, then we can get you some shit tomorrow.

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida follows him willingly, though to say it's without complaint would be...]

...are you sure that's okay?

[...uh...]

Like I said, kyoudai, the couch is fine!

[...a little inaccurate.]

[diamondo]

Nah, it's fine! 'Sides, the couch is pretty shitty.

[Well, it's not that bad, but Mondo would rather have Ishida in the room with him. It's totally not because he gets really lonely after the nightmares, nope.

Anyway, the room is sparsely decorated, though there's a desk in the corner that's covered with fabric and sewing materials; it looks like Mondo's in the midst of recreating those banners that were in his room in Hope's Peak. He makes his way to the wall closet and begins picking through his clothes to find something that won't drown Ishida.]

Here we go! It'll be a bit big, but it's only for one night!

[The tank top and shorts he toss Ishida's way are both in monochrome colors and hopefully they won't be too large.]

You can shower and get changed first.

[He'll just be working on his banners in the meantime! ...Also he might be kind of interested in seeing if the eye flames go out.]

[blazingspirit]

[Ishida nearly misses the clothes he's thrown, as he's a bit distracted by the...uh, embroidery Mondo has going on there; fortunately, his reflexes are good and he manages to catch them once he's recovered himself enough to realize that something's coming winging at him. He looks them over skeptically, but he nods a bit in acknowledgement of the offer, muttering his thanks as he moves past him to disappear into the bathroom to shower; thankfully, he's oblivious to Mondo's curiosity about the eye flames, and just kind of...assumes that it's for the sake of not having the hot water completely die in the ass while he's in the middle of dealing with his hair or something.

And the hot water does not, in fact, die in the ass, though Ishida spends a bit longer than is really necessary getting dressed just because he has to have something of a fight with the shorts first. No matter what Mondo gave him to wear, it was going to be huge on him, he was fully aware of that from the start; he just sort of takes one look at that upon exiting the shower and decides to thank whatever god might happen to exist for the general invention of drawstrings, then promptly spends forever fucking with knots until he's pretty sure the damn thing was going to stay on. He gives next to no fucks about the shirt, and really in hindsight he probably could have just slept in that and been perfectly fine; at least it's comfortable, if a bit weird-feeling. He leans up against the doorframe when he's done, though, watching whatever Mondo's doing with those banners for a moment before saying anything.

And no, those eyeflames have not gone out.]

...hell are you working on, anyway?

[He jerks his head in the general direction of that...sewing shit you've got there, Mondo.]

[diamondo]

[...Huh, so were they just flaming in the shower or what???

Anyway, Mondo glances up when Ishida exits the bathroom and laughs at the question, holding up one incomplete one.]

Banners! I had 'em in my room back at Hope's Peak; I never really had a room to myself to decorate, y'know? So I brought a shit-load of these to decorate the place there. I figure I'll do the same here!

[This way he'll get more of a chance to appreciate it. He sets the banner down gently and snatches his own clothes from where he's placed them on the edge of the bed.]

I'll be right back.

[And indeed, it doesn't take long for him to shower - he's gotten pretty good at getting all that gel out of his hair in a short amount of time. Of course, by the time he's done the water has gone freezing and he's quick to return to bed.]