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LOCKED TO blazingspirit

[He doesn't remember much about his execution.

Oh sure, he remembers the lead-up to it; he remembers how the others looked on as he was led away and sure, he remembers Ishimaru's screams. He doesn't remember the death cage nor does he remember the sudden pain before it was all over.

It made waking up here incredibly confusing.

"Here" must be some sort of afterlife, but Mondo hasn't been able to figure out what it is, exactly. It's obviously not heaven (he's killed two people, he doesn't belong in heaven), but it doesn't seem to be hell either. Things are monotonous, yes, but they're not bad.

That leaves the option of purgatory, which Mondo is more or less fine with. It's better than spending an eternity suffering. It's probably not right for him to stay here instead of moving on to hell, but he doesn't know how or when that will happen. He's content to leave it at that for the time being.

This place is a rather large city - half of it is full of native English speakers, whom Mondo tends to avoid (his English is atrocious, after all), the other half is full of Japanese speakers. The city itself doesn't seem to be anywhere Mondo has ever seen, but it's large and spread out, with plenty to explore and do. Mondo hasn't seen everything there is to see though; he's only been here for a few weeks, and he knew if he wanted to make ends meet, he'd need a job first. Exploring could wait.

It's convenient that there's a carpenter's shop just down the road from the apartment Mondo woke up in. It might not technically be his, but he's been staying there until he can afford to properly rent it out. No one has complained so far, so he figures it's fine for the time being. The carpenter works him to the bone and he's never been so exhausted in his life when he comes home, but it's a good kind of exhaustion that means he's doing something productive. He can't make up for what he's done in the past, but he can help out here.

He's off work for the day, lounging around in what serves as the living room of his apartment, flipping through the newspaper. The dates here are all screwed up - it's almost winter here and he knows he'll have to put some money away toward buying proper winter clothes. That's only a minor concern though, because he has much bigger things to worry about.

In a city this large, it's possible that he's just missed seeing the others. He hasn't been looking very hard, admittedly. He's not sure what to say to them when he does see them. "Sorry" simply won't cut it for Fujisaki. He doesn't really want to see Kuwata, Enoshima, or Maizono either. He's sure it's only a matter of time before one of them finds him, or before someone else shows up here.

All he can do is hope that it won't be Ishimaru.]

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[...is this a trick question...?]

Well... well yeah, but you tend to cry a lot. Or at least, you used to. Before this happened. This uh... "possession" thing.

[It hits him then that Ishimaru didn't answer the question. He doesn't know - or maybe he does know and the answer isn't a good one. What if he'll never go back to the way he was? What if he's stuck like this - some sort of weird fusion between the two of them?]

Are you... are you okay like this?

[The question probably comes from out of left field, but it's something he needs to know.]

[...what are you even.]

Of course I'm okay - why wouldn't I be?!

[Really wigged out, that's what.]

W-Well I mean... if you're gonna be like this for... however long we'll be here...?

[His voice just increases in volume as he continues, and Mondo cuts himself off there to clear his throat awkwardly.]

You don't wanna go back to the way you were?

[That increase in volume doesn't escape his attention, but he isn't really sure what to do about it; Mondo's words give him something else to focus on, though. He laughs a bit, though the sound is cut-off and strange - the sort of sound one makes when they aren't sure what else to do but they're pretty sure they're supposed to be doing something, and they're kinda hoping the answer will just miraculously present itself if they keep acting like everything's normal.]

I don't get what your problem is, kyoudai - this is who I am.

[Well if that doesn't get Mondo to panic, nothing will.]

What are you talking about? You're not like this! You're the one constantly insisting that we follow the rules and behave properly and... and before we were friends you sure as hell didn't seem to appreciate me cussing! I... guess I get that you're trying to be more like me, but you weren't always like this! Don't you remember?

[There's a note of pleading in his voice that he couldn't control even if he tried.]

[Ishida just shakes his head at that, though he doesn't seem too off-put by the pleading or the panic; he's seen a lot of the latter over the last few days, anyway.]

I remember that, what you're talking about. But that isn't who I am; it's not me.

[Fullstop. Not "for the time being," not "anymore." That's just how it is.]

So... you're not Ishimaru. Then who the hell are you? You're still calling me "kyoudai"!

[He's getting louder, but Mondo really can't be bothered to stop himself now. This is frightening. How could Ishimaru lose himself so badly that he created another persona?]

[Ishida draws back a bit at the shouting, though he doesn't seem openly upset by it; not in the same way Ishimaru would have been, anyway.]

...I told them to call me Ishida, if they had to call me anything.

Ishi...da...

[Two and two make four for once and Mondo sits back, trying not to laugh. This is all so absurd.]

Ishimaru and Oowada. I get it.

[He can at least appreciate combining names like that, but this really isn't funny.]

And you're just gonna be Ishida for as long as you're here, is that about right? You can't just... I don't fucking know, change back?

[This isn't Sailor Moon, so he kind of doubts it...]

Shit. Shit.

[Mondo runs a hand through the shorter strands of hair, trying to come up with something to say. He knows he needs to address this, but for the life of him he can't think of anything to say in response. So instead, he ever-so-gracefully changes the topic.]

You can stay here with me. I've only got the one bed, but I guess it'll do for now. Should be large enough for both of us.

[He just sort of stares a bit at the "change back" question, because seriously, Mondo, he doesn't know what the hell kind of magical girl you think he is but he's pretty sure that ain't happening. To his credit, though, he lets Mondo turn shit over in his head, since it looks like that's what he's doing, and he just settles back on the couch and tries not to interrupt him.

...it takes a concentrated effort, but he manages.

He isn't expecting that offer, though, and he's headtilting a bit before he can really stop himself; he corrects it once he realizes, though.]

Ah, yeah? I can stay down here if you want, I don't fuckin' care. The couch is fine, just as long as I have somewhere to sleep.

[...]

And I kinda locked myself out of the place I woke up in, so...

[Mondo snickers at that - there's something about it that strikes him as being something Ishida would do, despite not really knowing Ishida at all. Maybe it's because he nearly did the exact same thing when he first showed up. Wow, that's not awkward at all.]

Nah, it's okay. I don't mind. Though uh... I still kinda have nightmares so sometimes I get up in the middle of the night.

[He resettles his hands on his knees, absently playing with the fabric of his pants. It's far easier to look at his hands than it is to look at Ishida.]

Sorry for snapping at you. This is just... a lot to take in, y'know?

[He doubts he'll fully accept any of this for quite some time to come.]

That makes the both of us still having nightmares, kyoudai, so don't worry about it! I don't sleep for shit anyway; not unless I'm really worn out - so don't worry about waking me up or anything, chances are I was already awake.

[He blinks a bit at the apology, though; something else he hadn't really been expecting, obviously.]

And hey, it's fine; there's...kind of been a lot of shit happening, I get it.

[It's kind of worrying that Ishida doesn't sleep very well, but Mondo doesn't press about it. He figures it has something to do with the situation they've been put through.]

Yeah it's... kinda difficult...

[Just when he was starting to settle down too...! Oh well, at least he can keep an eye on Ishida this way. Maybe he will go back to being Ishimaru at some point, who knows?]

Ah, did you still want me to call you kyoudai? I mean, if you're a different person...

[Look, this is confusing, okay.]

[...well, that questin just makes him get defensive, thanks.]

Why wouldn't I?!

[...]

Do you...not want to or something?!

Wh-What? No, it's not that! I mean, like I said, you're a different person, so I wasn't sure if that'd make things different between us!

[For some reason the idea of calling Ishida anything but kyoudai doesn't sit well with him. Maybe it's the fact that Ishida is Ishimaru, even if he has gone off the deep end.]

Sorry, alright? I just wanted to make sure.

It's fine! It's...fine. I'm not mad.

[Mad or not, however, it's obvious that it's bothered him; it takes him a bit to resettle, and he still seems incredibly tense even after the moment's passed.]

You don't have to apologize to me, anyway. Everything's good.

[This still isn't sitting right with Mondo. He can tell that Ishida is still tense, and after a moment of thought, Mondo decides that there's no reason for him to treat Ishida any differently than Ishimaru. He could be horribly wrong - maybe Ishida won't want to be treated like Ishimaru - but they are the same person, right? Right.

So he reaches out to pull Ishida into a one-armed hug, keeping his grip tight around his friend's shoulders.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, alright? Look, I get where that'd be really fucking upsetting, having someone really close to you say something like that. I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm not gonna leave you, and you're always gonna be my brother, no matter what, okay?

[Ishida doesn't flinch away or try to resist that hug any; his reaction is very vehemently the opposite, actually, in that he seems to relax almost immediately, leaning up against Mondo's side and turning his head a bit so that Mondo can't get a good look at his face.]

...Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[His words are quieter, less severe than they have been for almost the entire discussion; he's shaking a bit again, and it takes him a moment to find something else to say.]

Like I said, you don't...have to apologize to me. It's okay; I'm just being fuckin' stupid, that's all.

[Mondo continues to study Ishida anyway, listening to what he has to say and remaining silent for a moment afterwards as he considers.]

If my brother had said that to me, I would've been really fucking upset. So I'm sorry, whether or not I have to apologize.

[He reaches up then to mess with Ishida's hair.]

I'm not gonna leave you and I'm sure as hell not gonna say shit like that again. You have my word, kyoudai.

...I'm really glad to have you back, kyoudai.

[The words are abrupt, as is the subject change, but he doesn't seem too inclined to try to amend it any; for the time being, he just remains where he is, though he does lean a bit into Mondo's touch where he's playing with his hair.]

And I'm not going to leave you either, okay?

You won't lose me again. 'Specially not like that.

[That's about the point where he decides screw it, he's just going to properly latch onto Ishida now. He might not be Ishimaru at the moment, but he's still Mondo's brother and he's missed him.]

Shit, I missed you.

[...Well, Ishimaru, but close enough, right?]

I didn't want you to show up here but... I'm glad I can see you again.

[Ishida doesn't hesitate in shifting position so he can hold Mondo properly; his grip is firm, holding Mondo tightly against him for a moment before he lets one of his hands move, stroking Mondo's back a bit.]

Hey, come on. I missed you too! But it's okay; we're together now.

Yeah. And nothing'll separate us again!

[It's easy enough to sound confident about that, but the way he's clinging to Ishida probably says something else. He's not necessarily worried about losing Ishida, but he's been through so much and it's finally taking a toll on him. He kind of feels like crying for some reason he can't quite figure out, but he manages to control that. It helps that Ishida seems to have a better idea of what to do with himself than Ishimaru usually did, but that just highlights the differences between them, which isn't something Mondo really wants to deal with right now.]

Right - we're always going to have each other, I promise!

[His grip tightens a bit, but he doesn't stop with that stroking along Mondo's spine; after a moment, he nuzzles against him, the gesture almost strangely affectionate.

He has some idea of how to handle himself, maybe, but he isn't really sure what to do with this; it's incredibly obvious, but at least he's trying, which is more than he's been offering most people.]

...You gonna be okay?

[The nuzzling startles him at first, but it doesn't take long for Mondo to relax into it, occasionally returning it a bit. It feels nice, which is something he needs right now. Some part of him balks that this is weird, especially doing this with Ishida rather than Ishimaru, but that part can go die in a fire as far as Mondo's concerned. He just wants to be held for a little while; he'll be fine.]

...Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine. It's just a hell of a lot to take in. I'm still not used to the idea that I'm dead!

[He laughs, but the sound is hollow. He's perfectly content to go back to nuzzling Ishida.]

I'll be fine, so don't worry about me, okay?

LOCKED TO blazingspirit

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